I Love Lesbians Who Turn Girls Lesbian

I've had a few crushes on some girls, and I kinda flirted with them. (well, I'm not a very flirty person, so I consider it flirting, but its more like we just hang a lot and talk and chill, then I share my song with them) And with every single one of my crushes, I become like super close friends with them, then I guess when I kinda give up cuz I figure they're straight we grow apart a little. We still remain quite close though, it's just that these girls are never within my social circle, like their friend groups are different, so obv we wouldn't see each other as much unless I had a crush on them and made a point to reach out all the time. But recently two of them have started acting weird. One acts a little hurt, and started posting stuff about a person that's very obviously a crush, and I asked her cuz she seemed a lil hurt, and she said 'no it's not that I like someone', which was obviously a lie. SOoooo, Idk, she doesn't have anything much to hide from me, cuz we've told each other a lot of deep things, so if she's lying there's got to be a good reason. I have a grand total of one close guy friend in school and she doesn't know my external friends. So if the crush is one of my friends, which is unlikely cuz diff social circle, it'd be a girl. But since she's acting weird around me I'm making a few assumptions. I have a crush on another person now so it's not like I'm hoping for this. (thought she was straight cuz I took her to see a concert and still nth progressed)
Another person, is this girl who I had a crush on for a while. We met during a school trip where we spent a really long time in a small group of 20 in the literal wilds of Africa for a good part of a month. She kept texting me, "I love you best" and stuff, and at first I figured it was just bad english or smth, she just meant like love you lots or something, which everyone sends to each other anyway. But recently she said that again, and I decided to call it out, and she actually said 'its a but cringey but I do like you a lot more than anyone else' ( and what a thing to say when she has a group of best friends, and she's pretty close to quite a few people )
Like... idk man, thought she was straight too but she seems a bit more... different whenever she sees me.

Man, what did I do.

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Les02 · 26-30, F

Thanks for the read, by any chance have any of these girls told you they are actually bi or lesbian?

firelaw · 22-25, F

@Les02 they wouldn't cuz it would cause quite a few issues to come out. In my school all the openly gay people are kinda like... weird.. also..(?) they also all sit at the same table and cause a lot of issues. And a lot of people in school think that's a proper representation of gay people, so others just keep to themselves to avoid getting associated with them. It's also a christian school so there's that too. People don't really like to talk about these things when you hear the pastor tell you that homosexuality is the cause of global warming. (actually happened)

I just feel like my friends are kinda returning my feelings only like, after I've left... in a way. And it's a little obvious, i guess, but if it's happening to a few of my ex crushes then is it me or them?

Les02 · 26-30, F

@firelaw I can identify with you to a point, I've always been so out there that not many have challenged me and those that have have generally come unstuck. In the past it's either drawn girls to me or frightened them away. But still I have been in circles that I have misread girls and they have misread me, consequently it's strained relationships. Others were just experimenting with their sexuality. There are dozens of reasons why you are having trouble connection and your age doesn't help, it a confusing period. I know it's hard but don't blame yourself or even others for that matter. I hate to say it but you are just going to have to be patient and in due course with no warning at all you'll connect with someone. Just be yourself and don't try to impress, as hard as it can be sometimes. And yes if the gay group are being extreme to the point that they are isolating themselves from the rest of the school, it's wise that you are keeping your distance. BTW is there a counselor at school or a family member that you can talk too?

firelaw · 22-25, F

@Les02 sch councillor's like super christian and nice as she is, not really good with advice. As for my family, too conservative and our relationship is a bit... strained already aha. I have a few friends here and there that I do talk to about these stuff, but, maybe I was a few years ago, but I'm not really like, struggling with my sexuality or anything right now, I kinda just know that I like girls, and I know it's fine but I don't really need to go out there and announce it cuz it's not really recognised by a lot of ppl in the country, and I don't need to draw attention to myself. I guess like when I do get together with someone, I'll tell the people around me that I care about, but until then, I don't rly see the point.

Tastyfrzz · 61-69, M

@firelaw I'm not sure what country you're from. Australia? The minister sounds like a complete fraud. Be very careful around him. Never be around him alone.