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I Am Submissive

DISAPPOINTED = worst words a sub/slave can hear from her Master. :'(
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Paliglass · 41-45, F
I feel like I'm a disappointment to my partner at the moment. I was crying earlier. On the one hand I haven't done anything wrong on the other hand I feel I'm a disappointment. A "friend" of ours basically propositioned me. I felt really embarrassed and only managed to say "ur, no thank you" and I told my partner about it because it felt like the right thing to do. My partner is absolutely fuming angry at the guy that he said what he said to me while I was on my own and in amongst that he said I must have given him the wrong impression but I know I did nothing to imply I would have sex with this guy. I feel like he's disappointed in me and I feel really sad about it. He thinks I should of been more aggressive or something and more infuriated. It was all I could manage "er no thank you" Because I was completely taken by surprise and embarrassed. I felt really awkward. I could no way manage an angry response because I was too confused and uncomfortable. My partner can't seem to get his head around that. I told him what happened as soon as I saw him, I didn't want to tell him on the phone or via text because that would be more upsetting so I told him face to face. He said I should of text or called him. I feel like an all round disappointment even though I did everything I could and thought was right at the time. I've been as supportive or reassuring as humanly possible since telling him too. Still feel like a disappointment.
SW-User
@Paliglass Under those same circumstances, I probably would have responded the same way. I don't like confrontations and I don't handle awkward situations. That said, the fact that your partner got angry shows a protectiveness toward you, not sure why he was quick to blame you. Maybe he could explain that. I know with me, I sometimes come off approachable and welcoming to strangers and friends.... it's a part of who I am. I've had stuff happen that might not have if I was less open.

But, your friend that propositioned you. He should contact your partner and apologize. As he should to you. He was the one who knew you were with another yet decided to try something.

I hope your partner will find it in his heart to get over it. The issue is the friend, not you. But his kneejerk reaction was to be angry w/ you, not sure why. Seems you both need to talk it out. Hugs!!!!
Paliglass · 41-45, F
@SW-User He is really angry and in amongst being angry at him he said what he said about me. He kept saying it's not my fault in amongst it all too. He also said I was right to tell him because some women wouldn't and that it is the friends fault. I think it was the anger and was saying everything that came into his head. My dad is like that and never means anything by it and once he's calm he can talk rationally. I'm waiting for my partner to calm down at the moment so we can talk about it but because of what he said I feel I am a disappointment. I will tell him when he's calm how I feel.
He's been cheated on in past relationships. I think that's why he said the things he said but he also said no other woman he's been with has ever come and told him when this has happened and they then cheated. I like to tell my partner everything. Lies and secrets are against my nature. So I think when he said I might of given the wrong impression, should of text him immediately it's possible that it's because of how his ex's were. So I am trying to ignore it but it's difficult because I care what he thinks of me and I feel like a disappointment even though I know I did nothing to deserve the guy asking me to have sex with him. Men are like this but the thing that is disrespectful is he knows my partner and he has a wife. He completely misjudged me if he thought I'd not tell my partner and now my partner wants to talk to the guys wife. I only care about my partner and me being ok at the moment and as far as I know they are swingers so his wife probably knows. But his wife wasn't there and I'm not 100% sure they're swingers. It's what the guy said when he propositioned me "do you want to come to a swingers club with me? I mean just you and me in a private room" and I just said "er no thank you" - and left as quickly as I could. So I guess they're swingers. My partner says it's BS and they're not swingers. I dunno. I just want my partner to be ok with me and I don't know how to make him feel better especially as I feel like such a disappointment at the moment.
SW-User
@Paliglass Sounds to me like it's a situation the ''friend'' put you in that affected you, and your partner. I'd say he lost your friendship if he wants to disrespect the relationship you are in. Oh, I'm sure if your partner tells the wife the ''friend'' will say he was just joking. But regardless, with the past hurts your partner experienced I cannot say I blame him for wanting the wife to know. I know you feel like a disappointment, but you were put in this spot by the ''friend''. You did good, you told your partner. Even if it was delayed a little, you were kind of shocked and trying to process it. I'm sure it felt like a blow that you couldn't trust your friend to stay a friend. Your partner is seeing the difference between how past girlfriends handled things and how you handled it. Strange as this may seem.... perhaps it helps to heal his personal trust issues.
Paliglass · 41-45, F
@SW-User my partner did text him. He replied saying he said it as a joke so you were exactly right there. My partner says that's proof he said what he said and that he'll show his wife. No one says that as a joke.
It has affected us, I do hope it will show him that I do tell the truth rather than lie but it's difficult between us at the moment because he's angry and processing it.
Thank you for your support and understanding. I don't have anyone to talk to about it. Firstly because it's embarrassing and secondly because I've found in the past that when I talk to people irl about my relationship it goes badly. I get judged. My ex used to make me go to bed at 10pm for example but you can't say that to people - I did, because I don't realise how things sound half the time and that opens up alsorts of opinions on a relationship. If I say what happened and that my partner was angry then people around me will feel protective and judge him when really he's bound to be angry and therefore bound to say a few wrong things and my natural reaction is feeling hurt and sad and like a disappointment. People interpret that as me being abused but it's how I react, I get easily upset because I hold myself to high standards so if I feel I've not met my own standards which include my partner feeling secure then I feel terrible which is me not him doing anything but people don't realise this about me because they've never been in a relationship with me and outside of a relationship I take no crap and am very secure. In a relationship I'm very soft. So it's been good to be able to talk about it with you. Thank you.
SW-User
@Paliglass You are certainly welcome doll. I'm glad to help. You aren't alone, many in rl wouldn't understand my relationship and such and such....lol. And I've been known to blurt out things I shouldn't. But we all live and learn. It sounds like your partner is taking proper steps toward protecting you. And really, if he wasn't angry your rl friends would say ''Well, he obviously doesn't care!'' so you are darned if you do, and darned if you don't. From my viewpoint it looks positive between you two. NOT so positive for the ''friend'' who stepped out of line.
Paliglass · 41-45, F
@SW-User that's true, thank you 💐