I think I am asexual

I always figured I couldn't be "ace" because asexual people do not experience sexual attraction. But recently I discovered that a lot of ace people enjoy erotic fanfic and that sort of thing. As long as it's someone else, not them. I think that's me.

I sometimes find myself wishing I was in a sexual relationship. In theory. But any time anyone expresses interest, I immediately shut down and feel extremely uncomfortable. I tell myself things like, "I wouldn't want to subject another person to my body." But if I'm honest, I think that's me projecting my own feelings onto someone else.

2024 EDIT: I have come to think this label doesn't really fit me. I don't think it was wrong to try it on for a time. Everything I said here are still issues I struggle with. But I am slowly learning to work past them. Some days are better than others.

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in10RjFox · M

Cinema changed the psychology of humans and their behaviour. This is one aspect that was never studied. This many of us start to think many things similar to hallucinations. Similarly we imagine many of these psychological studies and classify ourselves.... which is similar to dresses available in store, which we fit in to see whether it suits us

What you may not have experienced is a relationship in private in a dark room where other' things don't meet your eye and disturb the intimacy.

ShadowSister · 46-50, F

@in10RjFox I don't think the private dark room would change anything for me. I was actually in a long-term relationship for 17 years. After the novelty of the first six months wore off, I found myself mentally checking out and having sexual fantasies about other people. Not ME with other people — just other people together. In fact, it was easier for me to fantasize about my partner with someone else than to fantasize about me with anyone.

in10RjFox · M

@ShadowSister yes.. it's the kick of voyeurism for while indulging in sex we get so close to our partner that we can't see anything, but only feel and imagine. But in case of cinema we see the other's indulgence in total..

The dark room effect is that we get to imagine fully with a partner like in cybersex/ phonesex. Any experience of phone sex or cybersex?

ShadowSister · 46-50, F

@in10RjFox Phone sex, once in college. I hated it. Cybersex, a few times in chat, only when I was pretending to be someone else. If anyone wants a pic from me, I can send it, but I'm immediately going to hate myself and we're done. So that means basically no one on SW because everyone wants to know it's the "real" you, and I hate lying to pretend I'm someone else.

in10RjFox · M

@ShadowSister Looks like there was no bonding with your mate, and phonesex n cybersex happened just as task or ritual, which would never work. It should happen and not made to happen.. and none of them require a pic .. the art and fun is in using only either's imagination and voice.