I Am Asexual

All my friends have boyfriends and there's so many happy couples. I really do envy them always having someone by your side, someone to cuddle, to stay with on lonely nights. They seem to fill a gap friends just can't quite cover. I want that I really do but you can't date someone without first liking someone. I think I always knew I felt differently than other girls. I never really cared about guys. Ever since I learned about aromanticism and asexuality I just assumed that was the closest fit but lately I'd been looking into it and I thought maybe I was just gay. At least then I'd have someone right? I pretty much knew I didn't like guys but other girls didn't seem like a bad option to at least experiment with. One of my friends even told me they had a crush on me. I feel like I have a crush on them too sometimes but other times when I really stop and think about it, it feels a little forced. Do I really like her or am I just not willing to accept the fact that if I never feel anything for anyone I'm doomed to be alone?