I Am Asexual

All my friends have boyfriends and there's so many happy couples. I really do envy them always having someone by your side, someone to cuddle, to stay with on lonely nights. They seem to fill a gap friends just can't quite cover. I want that I really do but you can't date someone without first liking someone. I think I always knew I felt differently than other girls. I never really cared about guys. Ever since I learned about aromanticism and asexuality I just assumed that was the closest fit but lately I'd been looking into it and I thought maybe I was just gay. At least then I'd have someone right? I pretty much knew I didn't like guys but other girls didn't seem like a bad option to at least experiment with. One of my friends even told me they had a crush on me. I feel like I have a crush on them too sometimes but other times when I really stop and think about it, it feels a little forced. Do I really like her or am I just not willing to accept the fact that if I never feel anything for anyone I'm doomed to be alone?

Top | Newest First | Oldest First

GlassDog · 41-45, M

I think when we talk about sexuality, we often confuse affection and the act fo sex itself. I think it's quite possible to separate them, and I think for certain types of sexuality, we absolutely should separate them. It sounds like you want someone to be with, especially in terms of affection, but are less clear about what you want sexually (if anything). I don't think it'd be impossible to find someone who feels exactly the same as you do.

StrawberryPixels · F

I know in terms of sexuality I think I am Asexual and that's not that bad and I know there are plenty of others I'm just wondering if I'll ever feel romantic attraction. I know I like romantic attraction as a concept I'm just afriad I'll never feel it myself and that scares me. I don't even know if I have before or if I'm just forcing it the one time I thought I had and so just like the concept more than I like the person. Am I just confusing platonic feelings for romantic ones because I want romantic ones?

GlassDog · 41-45, M

Strawberry: The's much more difficult to answer. Of the people I know who'd class themselves as asexual, none of them want romance. The fact that you like the idea of it might mean you pursue it. You should also remember that our brains don't stop developing until our early twenties and so you're not yet a finished article. You're still becoming who you'll end up being.

GlassDog · 41-45, M

Plobey: I'm really glad. We still live in such difficult times where everyone is putting labels on each other, and we're all trying to work out what our own label is. Truth is, we don't have one. Not even the people that really think they do.

SW-User

Wow, thank you, GlassDog! That actually helps me too.

Georgimy

Glass dog always nails it :)

SW-User

It sounds to me that you like filling the gap in your life more than you like her, but maybe you like her too. There is no harm in dating to learn more about her and yourself.

Add a comment...