I Am Attracted to Intelligent Women

Intelligence And The Modern Woman... Intelligent woman are hard to come by. That sounds incredibly misogynistic, and don't for a second think that I think men are superior, because they're not. To that end, intelligent, honest men are hard to come by as well. What I mean is that ever since I've found out that I like girls and that they, in fact, don't have cooties, I've felt I'm too mature for my age, that I'm more mature than my female counterparts (and most definitely my male peers). Even at 20, I feel this is the case. I understand that college is a time to let loose, but it seems to me that people are overdoing it these days. Many of the girls are quite licentious and tiresome, and the guys, dull narcissistic a-holes. Reading this back to myself, it sounds like I have a stick up my ass, but I can assure you, I'm not all seriousness. I'm definitely one for lowbrow humor, and am not averse to partying, but at some point, there has to be something behind that, some substance to the person.

My APUSH (AP US History) teacher in high school always advocated finding the interesting woman (I suppose odd advice coming from a history teacher, but it was more about seeking knowledge and wisdom about ourselves and the world, often through history. He was and still is my favorite teacher.). And I have yet to find her. I know there are intelligent woman, I know there are interesting woman of thought and substance, but I can't seem to find them. The very few I do find, are usually spoken for, as some lucky men who happen to value substance too have locked it down.

I feel that it's a product of our times, and the dumbing down of society that leads to my perception, that there are few intelligent woman to find. It's not that I think I'm highly intelligent or better than everyone, it's just that I don't feel I agree or wholly fit into this culture that has emerged, and I don't like it. Everywhere I look, club culture is emphasized, technology is sometimes becoming a hinderance, and education, and importantly, very dear to my heart, books are being tossed to the wayside. I don't quite know where I fit into this society, but nevertheless, I plow on, doing my own thing, approval be damned.

To date, there is a glimmer of hope for me. There is this girl in my Literature class I have written about in a previous story. To me, she is the epitome of the interesting woman. She's intelligent, well-spoken, articulate, and a hell of a writer. I have no idea if she's got a boyfriend, or not interested in one, but here's another fatal flaw of mine, my fear of rejection. I wouldn't mind getting rejected by anyone else. It's the one's I really care about that hurt. Sure, there are woman more beautiful than her, but she it beautiful, to me, and reeks of substance and character. Do I dare risk breaking my fragile mindset towards girls I find attractive? At what point is it better to just sit back and enjoy a crush, than to risk it all, and be rewarded either with glorious victory or bruising, crushing defeat?