I work with this older man and tbh I don't like him that much, I have noticed something he keeps calling me girl, Like well done girl, good girl, and such, and I feel like I cringe like I feel that i am a woman not a girl, Is this normal? Should I stop working with him?
@checkoutanytime damn one thing we agree on.. age gap is the reason.. i still call the cashier hon.. its were i grew up and who i grew up around.. take no offense. just keep repeating your name and he might remember it.. and use it.. or call him ol man..
It's hard to know what term(s) of address are appropriate since it varies so much from person to person. I doubt very much that he means any offense, and he might well cringe himself if he knew it made you cringe. I have inadvertently offended people too and have always been grateful for finding out.
You are entitled to be addresed in a manner that makes you comfortable, but he is entitled to know that you are not comfortable with things as they are as well.
Just tell him, in a non-judgemental way, ideally in person, what your preference is, and I would expect that problem will soon be over. I don't see any reason to stop working with him, if he is responsive to your request.
If not, there's a bigger issue. Which, come to think of it, there might be since you did mention that you don't like him that much and it's not clear whether that's because of the way he addresses you or because of something else..
@FrozenWasteland I prefer to just stop working with that's what's most people told me am not much of a confrontation person
SW-User
I am not sure but if you don't like it it's better to tell him. Here in my culture the equivalent of girl is almost interchangeable with woman if you're like under 40.
It sounds patronizing. What would happen if you would call him "Old Man"? Would you get in trouble? If he objected, could you "jokingly" explain that if he is going to call you Girl, you are going to call him Old Man?
I don't know, but it isn't the you being a women and not a "girl" part that seems strange. I know it would bug me also, if someone kept calling me either...instead of using my ]name.
He comes from a different time, and if your age range is correct, you probably look like a young girl to him. Be gracious and mature about it, rather than be offended. I’m sure it’s not meant to be, and it’s just that he sees you as very young. Change your attitude and perspective, and see it more as an endearment rather than an insult.
Fyi he that much old maybe in 40s or 50 max but still he addresses his coworkers with their first name but me and also he seems as if he is flirting sometimes @Carissimi
Have you said to him in a polite way to please not call you that? And if he asks why just say because I am a young woman and you can call me that if you like 😁…
Oh for heavens sake, stop with the Woke stuff. Why is calling a young woman a girl (from an older generation) sexist? Get some perspective sprinkled with some grace and maturity. @Collegegirl23
@Carissimi If for no other reason, just to lighten the conversation style and fish for a sustainable discourse level. There's a bit of difference between working "with" someone Vs "for" someone. "with" suggests appropriate and agreeable for everyone.
Personally, I would never refer to someone, whether a coworker or my employee with a phrase like "girl" or "boy" except maybe in a "good girl", "good boy" or "at-a girl/boy" light hearted expression, suggesting that they are deserving of praise.
I don't. Just that a bit of light hearted nudging may help force the issue to awareness.
There are some who may not want to know the names of their coworkers, or maybe they may be socially inhibited, or prefer self confinement; and referencing others with "girl" or "boy", etc. may be their way to keep a distance.
A little light hearted nudging would help either melt the ice or provide some insight.
SW-User
The country manager calls my team her "boys". Lol i dont think anything of it.
@SW-User I guess I should just ignore it and not interact with him as much cause it's getting creepy calling me daily rather texting like normal people
SW-User
@Collegegirl23 If it bothers you, take action. A complaint to HR or something.
It is patronizing, or could be perceived as such. I’ve been reading some of the other discussions here and, if he doesn’t address the others like that, you might say, "If it’s all the same to you I’d rather you use my name—the way you greet our other colleagues." Possibly if he’s reminded that he’s treating you differently, he’ll stop.
Well Girl, I think I suggest that you get an extra bottle of bubbles and a puppy. I don't give a &*it about gender pronouns and I think that those that pretend to are idiots.