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Is this a red flag?

Pls help me vet these men I date:

The guy I've been talking to for a bit and had a date with yesterday has informed me he currently doesn't have a job.

I asked him how long ago he was let go, it was five months ago.

He has been speaking to me like he does, "I have ____ days off" "Work is going well today" "I'm tired after a long day" etc.

I'm not really that invested in this person, because we just met.

I'm inclined to say I think we should postpone dating until he is working again.

But I also feel lied to and that's kinda icky.
caccoon
36-40
25 replies 33 views 2 hrs ago2 h
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Notsimilarreally · 31-35, F
Wait he lied?

Yeah run
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · 2 hrs ago2 h
caccoon · 36-40
@Notsimilarreally should I just send the text rn? 😩 I'm always worried about hurting people's feelings
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · 2 hrs ago2 h
Younameit · F
What, he said that he doesn’t have a job then he speaks like he has a job?

I would just simply ask “ You told me you were let go 5 months ago, how come you’re talking about having days off ? ”

Sometimes we need to give people the benefit of the doubt.
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
caccoon · 36-40
@Younameit he didn't tell me it was five months ago until I asked him

And I don't mind why he lied. He did so I just went with that!
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
Younameit · F
@caccoon He should’ve been honest. Probably afraid of your judgement
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
caccoon · 36-40
@Younameit yeah, I get that.
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
NerdyPotato ·
Giving the fruits of one's labor to an employer and their stock owners is overrated. But it does depend on what else he is doing with his time and energy instead.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
caccoon · 36-40
@NerdyPotato also understandable.

I just wish he'd been honest
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
ReneeT · 61-69, F
Being lied to like that is not a nice thing at all, especially if you are trying to get to know a person and get them to know you. I would be a little leery about date number two.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 2 hrs ago2 h
chernobylplaygr0unds
Not a good sign of things to come
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
Straylight · F
I’m confused by the way he speaks. Is he doing something else with his days and just talking like that out of habit?
If he’s just been lying about having a job, it seems he’s way too comfortable with deception when he could just say he’s out of work. Job markets rough and it’s not odd to still be searching all this time later.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 2 hrs ago2 h
caccoon · 36-40
@Straylight unfortunately, no, he will say things like, "I work a four day week" or "I'm just on my lunch from work"
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · 2 hrs ago2 h
Straylight · F
@caccoon That’s weird and shows lying comes way too easy to him. If he’ll lie about that now, what would he lie about later if you give him a chance?
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
Rutterman · 46-50, M
Drop him like a hot potato.
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · 2 hrs ago2 h
caccoon · 36-40
@Rutterman it's seeming like I should. He seems really sweet but he's so eager to lock me down and along with the lie I am extra uncomfortable
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 2 hrs ago2 h
BillyMack · 46-50, M
Sounds like a red flag to me. If anything from the lying perspective.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 2 hrs ago2 h
MethDozer · M
Fucking run.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 2 hrs ago2 h
caccoon · 36-40
@MethDozer the more I think about it the more I realize I should
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 2 hrs ago2 h
MethDozer · M
@caccoon he migbt be a great person but this not a person who is in a position to be in a relationship.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 2 hrs ago2 h · Edited: 2 hrs ago
caccoon · 36-40
@MethDozer that's how I feel about it as well. I wouldn't wanna be in a relationship when I'm not financially secure
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · 2 hrs ago2 h
Heineken · 51-55, M
If someone lies to you then there’s no point
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 2 hrs ago2 h
RebelRaven · 51-55, F
👎
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 2 hrs ago2 h
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