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How do we engage believers?

Skeptics face a quandary: When we declare that supernatural dogmas are false fairy tales, believers who devote their lives to those dogmas may feel bitterly insulted. This makes it difficult for well-meaning freethinkers and well-meaning churchgoers to hold open, sincere, friendly discussions.

How can we make dialogue possible?

It’s glaringly clear that some believers are outraged when their faith is challenged. Why do believers react so strongly? Bertrand Russell wrote that it’s because they realize, subconsciously, that their supernatural beliefs are senseless, so they cannot tolerate any challenge.

In the face of all this, it’s difficult for sincere doubters to talk with sincere believers without causing bad feelings. How do we handle pious neighbors, friends and family members? Here’s the wrong way:

One day, two flashy-looking evangelists came into my newspaper office. I tried to tweak them lightheartedly, but within minutes, we all were screaming at each other, purple-faced. It was awful.

Is there a better way? I really can’t tell a churchgoer “I respect your right to worship supernatural beings” because I actually don’t respect it.

Here’s the only workable approach I know. Be polite. Stay calm. Be reasonable. Ask questions designed to make the believer see flaws in his or her faith. For example:

Q: Exodus 31:13 decrees: “Whosoever doeth any work in the Sabbath day, he shall surely be put to death.” What about all the police, firefighters, paramedics, hospital staff and others who work on Sunday? Should the bible be complied with?

Q: Deuteronomy 22 commands that brides who aren’t virgins shall be taken to their fathers’ doorsteps and stoned to death. Should Christians obey this?

Q: Leviticus 20:13 mandates that gay males “shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.” Should the bible be submitted to in this instance?

Q: The Holy Book advises how to buy and sell slaves. Leviticus 25:44 says: “Both thy bondmen, and thy bondmaids, which thou shalt have, shall be of the heathen that are around you; of them shall ye buy bondmen and bondmaids.” Exodus 21:7 gives rules to follow when “a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant.” Should the bible be followed in this regard?

And, of course, the clincher:

Q: Why does a merciful God let children die of horrible diseases, doing nothing while parents pray desperately? And why does He let tsunamis, twisters and the like kill multitudes? And why did He create foxes to rip rabbits apart, cobras to kill children, etc.?

Maybe polite questioning is the best course in dealing with religious believers who surround you. If that doesn’t work, we can just smile to ourselves and avoid debates.

This column has been adapted from a July 8, 2019, piece written for Daylight Atheism.

James A. Haught, syndicated by PeaceVoice, was the longtime editor at the Charleston Gazette and has been the editor emeritus since 2015. He has won two dozen national newswriting awards and is author of 12 books and 150 magazine essays. He also is a senior editor of Free Inquiry magazine and was writer-in-residence for the United Coalition of Reason.
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hartfire · 61-69
I'm not a believer and was raised atheist. For me, it's not just "doubt". I am certain that consciousness and intelligence can only arise out of physically living and material beings, and that "spirit" cannot exist independently of a living body.

My answers to your questions:
Q1. In Jewish faith, there are acceptable exceptions to the law of observing the Sabbath:
a. if work is required to save a life,
b. if the business or service is performed by non-Jews. In this instance, some Orthodox Jews have a standing practice of selling their business to a Christian or Muslim just before sundown on Friday and buying it back again on Monday morning. Similarly in the Middle East, some Christians sell on Saturday afternoon and some Muslims on Thursdays, both buying back on the morning after their respective days of rest. The beauty of this is that it allows people of the Book to live together in mutual trust, cooperation and peace - largely sharing similar values in most matters (the role of women being the exception).

Q2. on Deuteronomy 22. Christians consider that if a law of the OT stands in contradiction to Jesus' "golden rule" to "love one another as thyself" then Jesus' new rule is the one to follow. They still accept Moses' golden rule "do unto others as you would have done unto you' because it doesn't conflict with Jesus' teaching - although the latter is better worded.
The problems with these two.
a. Not everyone loves themselves. In fact, people raised with trauma often hate themselves and do not know how to love. In the case of narcissism, a perverse form overweening self "love" cuts the person off from any feeling of empathy for others.
b. What each person wants or needs for themselves can often be very different. It's preferable to ask rather than assume.

Q3. Leviticus 20:13. Same: Jesus commandment to "love one another as thyself" is taken to replace all others because he is seen by Christians as the messiah who prophesied to correct the problems with the old order.

Q4. Leviticus 25:44. Same. Love for all living beings shows that slavery (denial of personal freedom and responsibility) is not and cannot be loving.
One can track the start of slavery in the OT (Genesis 9:20–27, KJV) to the moment when Noah decrees that his grandson Canaan (for the sin of his son Ham in seeing him naked and exposing it to his brothers) and all his future progeny shall henceforth become the slaves of the two "good" brothers, Shem and Japheth and all their descendents. An atheist could ask a believer, "why did God not condemn Noah for creating slavery?" Why must Jesus, be a descendent of the patriarch who invented such an inhumane custom and why does God condone it by not stopping it?

This last example and many like it (such as the expulsion from Paradise, the felling of the Tower of Babel, the destruction of Sodom and Gormorrah, etc) comes closer to one of the most critical questions.
If god is omnipotent, omnipresent, omnipotent and good, how could he permit evil and suffering?
The logical answer has to be that such a being does not and could not exist.

But belief is not about logic or fact.
The reality is that believers are expected to believe for the sake of belief itself.
The story of Eden shows that god expects obedience to belief for its own sake.
In reality, belief has psychological and social hooks.
Its real purpose is to unit large numbers of people into a nation with common values and a willingness to submit to the authority of a ruler (god and government ('give unto Caesar that which is Caesar's). It worked quite well to unite the nomadic Aramaic and Bedouin tribes of the Middle East in ancient times.
Nowadays, with people of differing faiths migrating across the planet in their millions, faith often creates more conflict than harmony.

We need tolerance and politeness to live in harmony with one another.
So long as a person's faith benefits them and their family and causes no harm to others, I see no reason not to let believers practice in peace.