Guys how do you handle this? Women what does my gf want?

My gf went to see friends last night at a house. She said she’d message me at 11PM. She didn’t. I sent her a message around 1130PM that she read at 1AM.

She didn’t respond and messaged me today at 11AM.

I brought it up politely and said that I thought that was rude. She asked why I was being grumpy. I replied I’m not. I just want to know if I go to see my friends sometime and don’t call you when I say then read your message and don’t reply until the next day will that be ok. She said sorry a bunch of times.

I don’t really suspect cheating at this point. I do think she was being rude and inconsiderate and disrespectful.

I feel that I’ve addressed the issue and I accept her apologies. She’s still talking about it.

What next?

Did I handle this correctly.

What to do now.

We’ve been together three months and this is the first argument between us.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

OogieBoogie · F

Well for one - this ⬇

. I brought it up politely and said that I thought that was rude.

- that's a paradox. Its contradictory.
-two - you bought it up. Accused and now think that you can leave that accusation at that.

She may have ignored you , yes.
But she never accused you or insulted your intent.
You did.

And you havent seem to accepeted her apology, coz she had to say it multiple times.

I know this isnt the best analogy, but....

...imagine your mum asks where you were when you went out.
Why didn't you call coz you were having so much fun you forgot.
Imagine by the time you saw the message it way past her bedtime - so you left replying till the next morning... out of courtesy.

Are you entitled to go out and have fun with your friends?
Are you allowed to make mistakes and apologize?
Should you be accused and affronted the next day coz you messed up ?

And would her accusing you hurt your feelings ?

Dont you feel that someone should be allowed to go out with their friends and have fun without being on an emotional leash ?

She was out, why did she have to call?
Im sure you arent her keeper - shes a grown woman.

Maybe allow her that ?
Allow her the right to be herself and do her thing, with her friends, once in a while.

Im sure youde like the same freedom, without having to check in....and justify it.

You aren't each others property 🤷‍♀

Edit: i think youre hanging on a little too tight.
Loosen up a bit maybe?

What do they say, if you love them - set them free. If they fly away, they werent meant for you - if they stay , they stay willingly.

And one offence isnt worth getting so strung up about . Itd be different if she was doing this every week.
But its just once. A first time event.

Maybe don't jump so hard on her .

Maybe itd have been better if youde just told her how it made you feel, rarher than judging her ?🤷‍♀

Muthafukajones · 46-50, M

@OogieBoogie I don’t want her on a leash. I’m actually very open about relationships and giving my partner freedom. I’ve noticed in the past that although being slightly disrespected doesn’t really bother me it can signal in a woman’s mind that I don’t care about her so I’ve learned that I have to address it so it doesn’t fester. I didn’t accuse her of cheating or anything I just said she was rude to not call when she said she would and not respond to my text. I’ll be more chill about it from now on.

ArtieKat · M

@OogieBoogie Very well put!

This comment is hidden. Show Comment

OogieBoogie · F

@ArtieKat thank you.

I think sometimes when we get woven into a person's life, we forget they had a life before us, and have one outside us .

ArtieKat · M

@OogieBoogie Totally agree. I found that out half a lifetime ago. It is possible to show someone you care without clinging.

lipstickguy · 61-69, M

@OogieBoogie spot on. you are exactly right on every point. well said