I Want To Hug A Panda
In reply to the following ep question:
<a href="http://www.experienceproject.com/question-answer/Why-Do-I-Feel-So-Bad-That-My-Friend-Killed-Herself-But-I-Didnt-Bat-An-Eye-When-Family-Dies/5579758" target="ep_blank">EP Link</a>
I felt the OP deserved a little more recognition and support for the stuff he's going through. Leave an encouraging message if you've got the time ;)
My reply:
I've never had a friend who commutes suicide, but I do remember a very strange thing that happened when my grandma died.
I loved her so much, she was kind every time I visited her. She'd let me play her games on her computer, make me cereal in the morning and always remind me to put in some strawberries and cream. She was the nicest person I've ever known.
Before she passed away, I went to see her with my mom. I hadn't seen her in a while, so I didn't know how bad things would be. She was laying in bed, almost unable to speak. Or, at least we couldn't understand a word that slipped from her mouth. Her skin was shrivelled up, and she looked inches from death. I lasted about five seconds, before bursting into tears and running from the room with my younger brother, who followed by suit and sobbed uncontrollably.
Later, after she had died, it wasn't too long before her husband also began to wither. He was an equally wonderful person, and I loved him just as much as I loved my grandma. I didn't see him before death though. At his funeral, there was food and sad music. Oddly enough, I was happy. It wasn't a party, but it wasn't nearly as upsetting as my grandmothers death and funeral.
I think the reason for these very different emotions I felt as these two people I loved passed away, is that only one of them I saw suffer.
When you have to watch someone struggle, and finally give in, I think it can be so much harder to take than if you just knew they passed away. There's pain. They didn't die at ease. They died suffering, and you had to watch them go through that before they finally got pulled away into whatever comes next.
In the case of your friend, you probably knew she was having issues, and wasn't always doing so well. Then, when the day finally came, there was no escaping the fact that her death hadn't been a relaxing or easy thing. It had been a thing of terror, fear and stress to the point of exhaustion. It's hard to endure pain, but it's even harder to watch others in pain.
I hope you're at ease.
<3
<a href="http://www.experienceproject.com/question-answer/Why-Do-I-Feel-So-Bad-That-My-Friend-Killed-Herself-But-I-Didnt-Bat-An-Eye-When-Family-Dies/5579758" target="ep_blank">EP Link</a>
I felt the OP deserved a little more recognition and support for the stuff he's going through. Leave an encouraging message if you've got the time ;)
My reply:
I've never had a friend who commutes suicide, but I do remember a very strange thing that happened when my grandma died.
I loved her so much, she was kind every time I visited her. She'd let me play her games on her computer, make me cereal in the morning and always remind me to put in some strawberries and cream. She was the nicest person I've ever known.
Before she passed away, I went to see her with my mom. I hadn't seen her in a while, so I didn't know how bad things would be. She was laying in bed, almost unable to speak. Or, at least we couldn't understand a word that slipped from her mouth. Her skin was shrivelled up, and she looked inches from death. I lasted about five seconds, before bursting into tears and running from the room with my younger brother, who followed by suit and sobbed uncontrollably.
Later, after she had died, it wasn't too long before her husband also began to wither. He was an equally wonderful person, and I loved him just as much as I loved my grandma. I didn't see him before death though. At his funeral, there was food and sad music. Oddly enough, I was happy. It wasn't a party, but it wasn't nearly as upsetting as my grandmothers death and funeral.
I think the reason for these very different emotions I felt as these two people I loved passed away, is that only one of them I saw suffer.
When you have to watch someone struggle, and finally give in, I think it can be so much harder to take than if you just knew they passed away. There's pain. They didn't die at ease. They died suffering, and you had to watch them go through that before they finally got pulled away into whatever comes next.
In the case of your friend, you probably knew she was having issues, and wasn't always doing so well. Then, when the day finally came, there was no escaping the fact that her death hadn't been a relaxing or easy thing. It had been a thing of terror, fear and stress to the point of exhaustion. It's hard to endure pain, but it's even harder to watch others in pain.
I hope you're at ease.
<3
22-25, M