My father was a alcoholic

I used the word " Marvel" because I was helpless I wondered how someone could be so self destructive and care so very little for the people around him how loved him and respected him and to this very day I marvel so many things that have driven me in my lifetime that are directly a result of how helpless I felt at that time some good and some not so good. But , hey! this post isnt suppose to be a pity party just ruminating about the past.