My recovery story

See my drinking story post for how I arrived here...
https://similarworlds.com/addiction/alcoholic/4543548-My-drinking-story-Inspired-by-some-on-here

I determined that binge drinking wasn't for me. I therefore went back to daily drinking but now at a much higher level. Fabulous.

After an afternoon on the piss feeling thoroughly miserable I came home to a row with my wife. After an hour I lay down and cried and cried. I just wanted to die I couldn't go on any more.

I spoke to a nurse at work I trusted. For once I was honest about my drinking (15 to 20 pints a day). She offered some options one being a treatment center. She said that worked best. I rolled up a day or so later.

Addicts of all kinds, cocaine, heroine, speed, exercise, sex, shopping, gambling even food disorders. All in a house in the country.

There I learnt I drank because I had a form of depression, to numb all emotions as I never learnt to cope and once I started drinking I couldn't stop. So avoid the first drink. Simple fucking genius.

However I had all the emotions I had numbed with alcohol for 25 years. How to deal with them. That was hard, first day at work, first wedding (my nieces), first flight, first holiday etc etc.

The rehab was 12 step so I stuck to AA when I came out and have ever since. It works for me.

I just decide to not drink today, tomorrow I might who knows but today I'm not drinking and I'll take life as it comes

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Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

I quote my therapist "Us humans do God damn anything to avoid pain"

If you haven't read "Rational Recovery" by Jack Trimpey

It's about alcohol addiction written by a man who was addicted to alcohol, but people with any kind of addiction ,,eating disorder etc, have recovered thanks to it. I'm myself planning to read it.

OldBrit · 61-69, M

@Queendragonfly not read that but I'm happy following my current programme it works for me

dubkebab · 56-60, M

@OldBrit He makes some good points in that book,but I question his motives and methods.
I too have had good results working an AA program daily and try not to overcomplicate that.

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@OldBrit I'm glad it works for you. ❤️

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@dubkebab I get what you mean, however I think we can decide which parts in a book we wanna take use of and not. I just have heard too many people with all kinds of addictions cheering that book.

dubkebab · 56-60, M

@Queendragonfly I agree,I take the parts I will use and junk the ones I don't need.
I would argue against his belief that abstinence be viewed as a single lifetime commitment as opposed to a 'one day at a time' method,though. His thoughts on spirituality and group fellowship get murky pretty quickly too.

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@dubkebab I'm interested in his lifetime commited perspective. One day at a time haven't done anything for me.

OldBrit · 61-69, M

@Queendragonfly different strokes for different folks.

For me the fact that today I'm choosing not to drink. Tomorrow who knows I don't put the pressure of a permanent abstinence on me because that would be too much pressure.

I have some limited experience with Rational Recovery the alcohol and drug service I use to volunteer at did offer it as one pathway. Obviously given my background I didn't have much to do with that one.

dubkebab · 56-60, M

@Queendragonfly I wish you all the best and recognize the struggles we face,it's complicated stuff!
I hope your strategies add up to a win. I personally see my 16 + years sober as having been achieved in tiny increments...sometimes by the hour in certain circumstances.

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@dubkebab Congrats that is a huge achievement! Mine is trauma bonded so yes it's very complex and so far no therapy has been able to help.

OldBrit · 61-69, M

@Queendragonfly I hope you find something that works. I'm ever so grateful for my 19 years plus of sobriety.

Have you tried EMDR? I have friends who swear by it and clients I worked with who tried it with great success.

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@OldBrit I've tried EMDR or any other letters of therapy. EMDR is great but it never got to the root issue. Not sure anything can.