I'm in my fifth month of sobriety

It's been difficult. Not so much the not drinking, but everything else. Every dime I spend is scrutinized, my habits are all called into question, and I've been going back and fourth between bitterness at myself and blaming everyone else. One of the main parts of AA is coping with the underlying causes of your drinking, which I still haven't been able to do, because some of the habits that I carried out while drinking carried over to other areas in my life.

In all, I'm a nice, kind, caring man (I'd like to believe). I'm a good dad, decent husband, faithful man (I try, anyway). But it's amazing how one area of life can poison all the good you do.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Graylight · 51-55, F

Alcohol is just like water. Introduce it and everything you own will be soaked sooner or later.

5 months. Just enjoy the period on the end of that sentence for a moment. No ifs, buts, future goals, things lost, nothing. 5 months; it's a serious feat. Congratulations.

Yes, you're The One To Watch in early sobriety. But this is okay; think back on all the uncertainty, disappointment and fear we caused in others when your actions weren't being accounted for. Take it with grace; people have to learn to trust you again.

Addiction is a medical issue within the brain. Not a shortcoming, not a moral failing, not a weakness, no laziness, not gluttony. It's process can be viewed and identified at all stages within both the body and the brain. You're not always going to feel like a champion when fighting this thing. You won't always want to do the work. You may relapse, and even then it's not a failing but a chance to learn more about your triggers.

I can say this: One of your fights is giving up the alcohol. The other is in curating a body, mind and soul that lives in alignment with the Universe. This is what will help you manage the triggers of the condition so your body will never have to suffer.

Congrats again, and use all those good qualities you listed to help you create the man you want to be. You won't be sorry!