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I Am the Child of An Alcoholic

First of all, I do enjoy living at home, and am working and helping out but when my mom gets intoxicated, it’s extremely difficult to live with her, and I’m still getting comfortable driving so I can’t yet go anywhere, and don’t have people around me that can get me away from her when she’s like that. I don’t want to spend the money on a hotel, and there’s not really anywhere to go when she’s difficult to live with. She’s great to live with when she’s normal, aka sober, but when she’s drunk she will do anything to grate on your nerves. It’s gotten to the point where she provokes me so much that I get physically violent with her, and then that gives her an “out” like, “I drink because of you, you’re so mean to me”. Yet she won’t admit she has the problem, and always grabs some sort of weapon (a broom, an EZ Reacher, even a toilet plunger, not kidding) and then almost as if to taunt me, says things just to piss me off and mocks me. I do just ignore her sometimes, but when she asks me a question and I ignore her because she’s drunk, she just gets angry and comes toward me and swears at me, then threatens me not to come out of my room. I REALLY want to hurt her sometimes. I don’t know what to do. I don’t give her respect when she drinks, because she’s not herself and therefore can’t “be my mom” when she’s drunk.
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Somebody else who understands why I'll rarely ever barely even touch alcohol.
Imagnaryfriend · 22-25, F
Oh, I know. I have vowed never to drink. I worry for my future children when they visit her. I don’t want them to resent me because I never let them visit grandma. @BetweenKittensandRiots
@Imagnaryfriend i've done it a few times but I've always been paranoid about it and I seem to be better at the whole game of self control than either my dad was or my sister is.

I mean like for me I am capable of just having ONE, the rest of them though... Orz...

it's like they get a taste of it and then they have to keep going.

and honestly I'm not MDMA naive at this point and prefer molly.