I Am a Recovering Alcoholic

The holidays have a way of making me want to get smashed...I dont know if its just the stress of my kids running around trapped in the house all day or the pressure to cook the perfect dessert and then have to chat with my family about work or the kids school...it all creates such a crippling anxiety in me that grows and grows and half way through the meal I am craving any type of alcohol to take the edge off. It makes me angry with myself...I hate that after almost 3 years sober I still crave that. When I am overwhelmed that is still what I want to make myself "feel better". I dont want to let myself or my family down...but my God after the exhausting and long day that I have had a glass of wine sounds glorious.