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How to Heal ANY Addiction - The Reason We Become Addicted - How I Healed Mine

The Truth Will Set You Free - John 8:31and 32.

Here's how to be your true, authentic self, which sets you free. As we journey through the depths of our own hearts, we come face to face with the parts of ourselves that we'd rather not acknowledge. The shadow, a concept so eloquently described by Carl Jung, is that part of our psyche that contains the repressed thoughts, desires, and impulses that lie hidden beneath our conscious awareness. These are what keeps us trapped. When you finally address what is causing the addiction, you will find healing and will take back your power. There's no way around it. If you want to heal then you have to do the homework. It's not hard. It's just about becoming aware and then the other steps to follow.

For those struggling with any addiction, the shadow can be a formidable foe. It's the whisper that says "just one more time," the rationalization that convinces us that we can control our behavior, the hiding and the lying that becomes a way of life. But as we confront our shadow, we begin to see that it's not just about the substance or behavior, it's about the underlying fears, insecurities, and unresolved pain that drive us to seek escape.

In the darkness of our shadow, we find the fragments of our own soul. The parts we've disowned, the parts we've hidden, the parts we've been too afraid to confront. But it's in embracing these fragments that we find wholeness. It's in acknowledging our own brokenness,

When it comes to overcoming addiction or changing habits, it's common to think that willpower is the key. But the truth is, willpower is just a temporary solution that can lead to feelings of guilt and shame when we inevitably slip up. The shadow operates beneath the surface of our conscious awareness, influencing our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in ways that can be difficult to control through sheer willpower alone.

Rather than relying on willpower, it's more effective to approach change by developing a deeper understanding of the underlying drivers of our behavior. By acknowledging and working with our shadow, we can begin to uncover the hidden patterns and motivations that are driving our struggles. This involves exploring our emotions, memories, and experiences, and developing a more compassionate and curious attitude towards ourselves.

By shifting our focus from willpower to self-awareness and understanding, we begin to break free from the patterns that hold us back, and develop a more authentic, whole, and meaningful life. It's not about being strong enough or weak enough; it's about being willing to confront and understand ourselves, that we can begin to heal.

As we walk the path of recovery, we must be willing to confront the shadow within. We must be willing to do the necessary, if we wish to heal, and look at the parts of ourselves that we've tried to hide, by acknowledging the pain and the fear that drives our addiction. And as we do, we'll find that the grip of addiction will begin to loosen. We'll find that the power of the shadow begins to wane, and the light of hope and freedom begins to shine through.

May we have the courage to confront our shadow, to acknowledge its presence, and to integrate it into our lives. May we find healing and wholeness in the process, as we emerge stronger, freer, and more whole than we ever thought possible.

Healing from the impact of the shadow requires a gentle and compassionate approach. Start by acknowledging that your shadow exists and that it's a natural part of being human. Recognize that it's not something to be feared or ashamed of, but rather something that needs understanding and integration.

Begin to pay attention to your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, especially those that feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar. Notice when you feel triggered or reactive, and take time to reflect on what might be driving those responses.

Practice self-compassion and kindness towards yourself as you explore your shadow. Remember that it's okay to have parts of yourself that you've hidden or denied, and that acknowledging them is a sign of strength, not weakness.

I did the work myself. You may work on yourself or you may decide to consider seeking guidance from a therapist, coach, or trusted mentor who can provide a safe and supportive environment for you to explore your shadow. They can help you develop the skills and strategies you need to navigate the process.

As you work with your shadow, it's imperative to focus on integrating your fragmented parts, rather than trying to suppress or deny them. This involves acknowledging and accepting your emotions, rather than trying to numb or avoid them. Acknowledge them and let them out in whatever way feels natural for you. That may be in silence, by crying, journaling, self-talk, or whatever, but all are acceptable and nothing to be ashamed of. Remember, it's the suppression that brought your addictive behavior, in the first place. You can see that doesn't work and it never will.

Ultimately, healing from the impact of the shadow requires patience, courage, and self-compassion. By approaching the process with kindness and understanding, you can develop a more whole and authentic sense of self, and live a more authentic, meaningful life.

The principal is the same. Following, are three videos to help steer you away from any addiction, including alcohol, food cravings, or people-pleasing, to a "whole", happier, and healthier You:

[media=https://youtu.be/mQuOOCOMuC4]

[media=https://youtu.be/ETvE1_0o3po]

[media=https://youtu.be/PRvNy91YdnA]
Carl Jung's approach to stopping people-pleasing involves individuation: recognizing your people-pleasing "persona" as a false self, confronting the inner void and suppressed anger (shadow), embracing solitude to connect with your true self, setting boundaries, and developing authenticity by valuing your own needs over others' comfort... even if it causes initial discomfort or loss of superficial relationships. It's about moving from a hollow "helper" to a whole, self-aware individual, finding inner freedom, not becoming cruel.

Key Jungian Concepts & Steps:

Unmask the Persona: Identify the agreeable mask (persona) you wear to gain acceptance, realizing it's a survival mechanism, not your true self.

Confront the Shadow: Acknowledge the suppressed anger, resentment, and unmet needs that build up from self-betrayal; this rage can be a catalyst for change.

Embrace Solitude: Step away from constant availability to find a healing, cleansing solitude where you can be present with yourself, not absent from others.

Develop Self-Awareness: Use techniques like noticing physical sensations (body checks) and tracking energy levels after interactions to discern authentic feelings from performative ones.

Practice Saying "No" & Setting Boundaries: Reclaim your space and energy by learning to decline requests and establish clear limits, even if it feels uncomfortable.

Value Your Inner Self: Shift from seeking external approval to honoring your own needs and desires; this is not selfishness but becoming whole.

Find True Generosity: Become genuinely generous from a place of inner fullness (overflow), rather than from depletion, attracting healthier connections.

Accept Discomfort: Understand that authenticity might make others uncomfortable, but this reveals their dependence on your old role and is a sign of your liberation.

As we explore the concept of the shadow and its impact on our lives, we can also consider how it relates to our spiritual journey with God. You are a whole person not just your physical but more importantly your spiritual self that must not be neglected. Just as our shadow contains the repressed thoughts, desires, and impulses that lie hidden beneath our conscious awareness, we may also have areas of our spiritual lives that are hidden or neglected.

By acknowledging and working with our shadow, we can deepen our understanding of ourselves and our relationship with God. We can begin to see how our shadow may be influencing our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and how it may be impacting our ability to connect with God and others.

Through prayer, reflection, and spiritual guidance, we can invite God into the hidden places of our hearts, allowing Him to bring light and healing to the areas we've tried to hide or deny. As we surrender our shadow to God, we can experience a deeper sense of freedom, forgiveness, and transformation.

In this way, working with our shadow becomes a spiritual journey. One that allows us to confront and overcome the patterns and habits that hold us back from experiencing the fullness of life in Christ. By acknowledging the shadow and bringing it into the light of God's love, we can experience a more authentic, whole, and meaningful relationship with Him and ourselves. We cannot do things by our own might or power. What we cannot do, God can do. He knows exactly what our spirit needs and he can transform our thoughts and reactions to a more wholesome and happier life, through prayer.


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@ManuelShorey Jung viewed the desire for a dominant partner as an "unconscious projection" (1.1.2) of one's own inner, undeveloped strength or authority (1.5.7), encouraging the person to "integrate the shadow" (1.1.5) and reclaim their own power.

Carl Jung said life begins at 40 because he saw the first half of life as preparation (building identity, career, external life), while the second half, starting around midlife, is when true psychological work begins with introspection, integrating the "shadow," and seeking inner meaning and wholeness, moving from proving oneself to living authentically.

It's a shift from outward pursuits to inward discovery, a time for individuation and living from the "inside out".

The First Half (Pre-40): The "Research" Phase

External Focus: Building an identity, career, relationships, and social status.

Data Gathering: Learning the rules of the world, gaining experiences, and establishing stability.

Necessary Preparation: This phase is crucial for establishing the external structure of life, but it's not the full psychological life, according to Jung.

The Second Half (Post-40): The Real Beginning

Psychological Shift: A natural turn inward, away from external achievements and towards inner fulfillment.

Individuation: The process of integrating hidden or repressed parts of the self (the "shadow") for psychological balance.

Authenticity: Moving from fulfilling expectations to living a life that reflects your true self.
New Tasks: Re-evaluating values, finding deeper meaning, and seeking wisdom rather than just experience.

Why the "Beginning"?
It's not that the first 40 years were wasted, but that they were necessary groundwork.

Around 40, individuals often have the maturity and stability to finally focus on deeper, more authentic living, rather than just "doing research" on life.

Feelings of restlessness at this age signal a healthy transition to a more profound phase of self-discovery, not decline.
ManuelShorey · MNew
@LadyGrace Thank you so much. This is really a very uplifting message for me. I would say, the best advice that I have ever received. I had consulted few psychologists and relationship experts and they never told me about the shadow work. What they highlighted is that my fantasies are normal and everyone is wired differently. One of them even encouraged me to seek women who complement my desires. They said I have to stop feeling that my desires are bad and be open and seek like minded women. They also suggested couple of sites where I can meet potential partners and said all is well if there is consent. In this process i got exposed to dominatrices and such operations. I infact visited couple of dominatrices, but that turn out to be too expensive. Then in forums I met someone who is not that high profile and u can do service for them at a lesser cost. But a part of me always wanted to come put of this. I will go through all the materials you have shared and the advice provided. I have canceled my next appointment with the dominant woman and I did yoga for 20 min today. I believe that is a good start. I do get a string urge to go back, but I am trying to keep them away. Your advice is truly valuable. Thank you very much.
@ManuelShorey It sounds like you got some really lousy doctors. I think these videos will help all of us more than those doctors. The videos get right down to the nitty gritty and help you heal and tell you exactly how to do it and I'm very very proud of you for not going to your appointment and giving in to that addiction. Rome wasn't built in the day so this is something we'll have to work on day after day and we will indeed make progress. I'm so proud of you for doing your yoga for 20 minutes. That is an unbelievable great start. I like studying things like the following, and I have included the section here where I'm talking with someone about it as you will see:

Why do we always think about something we don't want to think about?

Because you haven't understood you have a choice. Thoughts arise automatically but they need attention to survive. Without your attention thoughts don't have any power to stay, so they will just dissipate. It’s not that you're thinking (of things you don't want to think about). It's that you're not owning your attention. Learn to be in control of your attention. Learn to recognise how thoughts arise and how they take your attention. And take it back! At least some times throughout your day stop giving your attention to thoughts/thinking, and give it to your breathing, or give it to the sound of silence instead. Learn to do that and just feel the life changing benefits.

It's interesting that you're reflecting on your own journey and wondering why it took you this long to discover certain insights. As for why people don't discuss these topics more openly, it's possible that it's due to a combination of factors, such as lack of awareness, cultural taboos, or simply not knowing where to start. But it seems like you're taking steps to educate yourself and others, and that's truly commendable.

I don't think even AA talks about this but they should if they're going to treat the whole person.

You're right, AA and other recovery programs often focus on the 12-step approach, but exploring the concept of the shadow and inner workings of the mind can be a valuable addition to the recovery process. It's interesting that you bring this up, as some people in recovery do find it helpful to explore these topics in a more in-depth way.

How can people learn about the shadow without being afraid of it?

That's a great question! One way to approach the shadow without fear is to start with self-reflection and curiosity. By acknowledging that everyone has aspects of themselves that they're not aware of or haven't fully accepted, people can begin to explore their own shadow in a gentle and non-judgmental way. It's also helpful to have guidance from trusted sources, such as therapists, coaches, or spiritual leaders, who can provide a safe and supportive environment for exploration. Additionally, framing the shadow as a natural part of the human psyche, rather than something to be feared or ashamed of, can help people approach it with more openness and curiosity.
@ManuelShorey I thought you might like this video. I love your bravery. Of being unashamed to say what's really bothering you. That takes a lot of guts and I applaud you for being genuine. I know you're going to get through this and get healed.
[media=https://youtu.be/KzTQGsekQB8]
ManuelShorey · MNew
@LadyGrace Thank you for sharing this. You were so compassionate and kind and that allowed me to open up. I want you to know that I really appreciate your help.
@ManuelShorey I know you do and I appreciate that. I just want to see you get the feeling better and get control of your life.
@ManuelShorey Boy, was today a super rough day, but I practised what we talked about... acknowledging the pain and working through it, and once again it worked. It almost felt like I couldn't do it but I did and now I feel better for it
ManuelShorey · MNew
@LadyGrace I am glad that you did better today. I wish coming days would be even better for you. I had a mixed day. While I was a bit worried and feeling somewhat empty just trying to push away my thoughts, I watched one of the later videos that you posted and felt like there is hope if I try. Then I had to prepare for my lectures tomorrow and I was busy with that.
@ManuelShorey That is good. Keep watching the videos and grow from them. They will help you be stronger.