How to Heal ANY Addiction - The Reason We Become Addicted - How I Healed Mine

The Truth Will Set You Free - John 8:31and 32.

Here's how to be your true, authentic self, which sets you free. As we journey through the depths of our own hearts, we come face to face with the parts of ourselves that we'd rather not acknowledge. The shadow, a concept so eloquently described by Carl Jung, is that part of our psyche that contains the repressed thoughts, desires, and impulses that lie hidden beneath our conscious awareness. These are what keeps us trapped. When you finally address what is causing the addiction, you will find healing and will take back your power. There's no way around it. If you want to heal then you have to do the homework. It's not hard. It's just about becoming aware and then the other steps to follow.

For those struggling with any addiction, the shadow can be a formidable foe. It's the whisper that says "just one more time," the rationalization that convinces us that we can control our behavior, the hiding and the lying that becomes a way of life. But as we confront our shadow, we begin to see that it's not just about the substance or behavior, it's about the underlying fears, insecurities, and unresolved pain that drive us to seek escape.

In the darkness of our shadow, we find the fragments of our own soul. The parts we've disowned, the parts we've hidden, the parts we've been too afraid to confront. But it's in embracing these fragments that we find wholeness. It's in acknowledging our own brokenness,

When it comes to overcoming addiction or changing habits, it's common to think that willpower is the key. But the truth is, willpower is just a temporary solution that can lead to feelings of guilt and shame when we inevitably slip up. The shadow operates beneath the surface of our conscious awareness, influencing our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in ways that can be difficult to control through sheer willpower alone.

Rather than relying on willpower, it's more effective to approach change by developing a deeper understanding of the underlying drivers of our behavior. By acknowledging and working with our shadow, we can begin to uncover the hidden patterns and motivations that are driving our struggles. This involves exploring our emotions, memories, and experiences, and developing a more compassionate and curious attitude towards ourselves.

By shifting our focus from willpower to self-awareness and understanding, we begin to break free from the patterns that hold us back, and develop a more authentic, whole, and meaningful life. It's not about being strong enough or weak enough; it's about being willing to confront and understand ourselves, that we can begin to heal.

As we walk the path of recovery, we must be willing to confront the shadow within. We must be willing to do the necessary, if we wish to heal, and look at the parts of ourselves that we've tried to hide, by acknowledging the pain and the fear that drives our addiction. And as we do, we'll find that the grip of addiction will begin to loosen. We'll find that the power of the shadow begins to wane, and the light of hope and freedom begins to shine through.

May we have the courage to confront our shadow, to acknowledge its presence, and to integrate it into our lives. May we find healing and wholeness in the process, as we emerge stronger, freer, and more whole than we ever thought possible.

Healing from the impact of the shadow requires a gentle and compassionate approach. Start by acknowledging that your shadow exists and that it's a natural part of being human. Recognize that it's not something to be feared or ashamed of, but rather something that needs understanding and integration.

Begin to pay attention to your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, especially those that feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar. Notice when you feel triggered or reactive, and take time to reflect on what might be driving those responses.

Practice self-compassion and kindness towards yourself as you explore your shadow. Remember that it's okay to have parts of yourself that you've hidden or denied, and that acknowledging them is a sign of strength, not weakness.

I did the work myself. You may work on yourself or you may decide to consider seeking guidance from a therapist, coach, or trusted mentor who can provide a safe and supportive environment for you to explore your shadow. They can help you develop the skills and strategies you need to navigate the process.

As you work with your shadow, it's imperative to focus on integrating your fragmented parts, rather than trying to suppress or deny them. This involves acknowledging and accepting your emotions, rather than trying to numb or avoid them. Acknowledge them and let them out in whatever way feels natural for you. That may be in silence, by crying, journaling, self-talk, or whatever, but all are acceptable and nothing to be ashamed of. Remember, it's the suppression that brought your addictive behavior, in the first place. You can see that doesn't work and it never will.

Ultimately, healing from the impact of the shadow requires patience, courage, and self-compassion. By approaching the process with kindness and understanding, you can develop a more whole and authentic sense of self, and live a more authentic, meaningful life.

The principal is the same. Following, are three videos to help steer you away from any addiction, including alcohol, food cravings, or people-pleasing, to a "whole", happier, and healthier You:

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Carl Jung's approach to stopping people-pleasing involves individuation: recognizing your people-pleasing "persona" as a false self, confronting the inner void and suppressed anger (shadow), embracing solitude to connect with your true self, setting boundaries, and developing authenticity by valuing your own needs over others' comfort... even if it causes initial discomfort or loss of superficial relationships. It's about moving from a hollow "helper" to a whole, self-aware individual, finding inner freedom, not becoming cruel.

Key Jungian Concepts & Steps:

Unmask the Persona: Identify the agreeable mask (persona) you wear to gain acceptance, realizing it's a survival mechanism, not your true self.

Confront the Shadow: Acknowledge the suppressed anger, resentment, and unmet needs that build up from self-betrayal; this rage can be a catalyst for change.

Embrace Solitude: Step away from constant availability to find a healing, cleansing solitude where you can be present with yourself, not absent from others.

Develop Self-Awareness: Use techniques like noticing physical sensations (body checks) and tracking energy levels after interactions to discern authentic feelings from performative ones.

Practice Saying "No" & Setting Boundaries: Reclaim your space and energy by learning to decline requests and establish clear limits, even if it feels uncomfortable.

Value Your Inner Self: Shift from seeking external approval to honoring your own needs and desires; this is not selfishness but becoming whole.

Find True Generosity: Become genuinely generous from a place of inner fullness (overflow), rather than from depletion, attracting healthier connections.

Accept Discomfort: Understand that authenticity might make others uncomfortable, but this reveals their dependence on your old role and is a sign of your liberation.

As we explore the concept of the shadow and its impact on our lives, we can also consider how it relates to our spiritual journey with God. You are a whole person not just your physical but more importantly your spiritual self that must not be neglected. Just as our shadow contains the repressed thoughts, desires, and impulses that lie hidden beneath our conscious awareness, we may also have areas of our spiritual lives that are hidden or neglected.

By acknowledging and working with our shadow, we can deepen our understanding of ourselves and our relationship with God. We can begin to see how our shadow may be influencing our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and how it may be impacting our ability to connect with God and others.

Through prayer, reflection, and spiritual guidance, we can invite God into the hidden places of our hearts, allowing Him to bring light and healing to the areas we've tried to hide or deny. As we surrender our shadow to God, we can experience a deeper sense of freedom, forgiveness, and transformation.

In this way, working with our shadow becomes a spiritual journey. One that allows us to confront and overcome the patterns and habits that hold us back from experiencing the fullness of life in Christ. By acknowledging the shadow and bringing it into the light of God's love, we can experience a more authentic, whole, and meaningful relationship with Him and ourselves. We cannot do things by our own might or power. What we cannot do, God can do. He knows exactly what our spirit needs and he can transform our thoughts and reactions to a more wholesome and happier life, through prayer.

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ManuelShorey · MNew

Wow! Very informative.
You mention about shadow. I heard this phrase ‘shadow work’ when I was looking for information in Teal Swan’s healing guidance. But even though her advice looks appealing in her YouTube channel, her counselling programs are very costly. Are you aware of shadow work? I am really looking forward to heal my addiction problem, and I am struggling with it. Some psychologists say that it’s okay everyone are unique. Problem is that I am not able to focus on important things. Anyways, thank you for explaining in detail in this post.

LadyGrace ·

@ManuelShorey
Carl Jung's concept of the Shadow is a bit more complex than just the subconscious. According to Jung, the Shadow refers to the repressed, undesirable, or hidden aspects of our personality, which can be both positive and negative. It's the part of ourselves that we hide from others and often from ourselves, and it can manifest in our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. These videos cost nothing and they are worth their weight in gold.

The Shadow can include:
- *Repressed desires*: impulses or urges that society or our personal values deem unacceptable
- *Hidden fears*: anxieties or phobias that we don't want to acknowledge
- *Unacceptable traits*: qualities or characteristics that we've learned to suppress or deny
- *Creative potential*: talents or abilities that we've neglected or hidden due to fear or self-doubt

The Shadow can influence our behavior in unconscious ways, and integrating it into our conscious awareness, can lead to greater self-awareness, personal growth, and wholeness. Jung believed that acknowledging and accepting our Shadow is essential for individuation, or becoming a fully realized and balanced individual.

The subconscious is a broader concept that encompasses many aspects of our psyche, including the Shadow. The Shadow is a specific part of the subconscious that contains the repressed or hidden aspects of ourselves. If you will watch those videos that I included in my post, you will learn about that and heal. This is how I healed my overeating addiction. I was not accepting that I had to do the work in order to heal and that's where most people stop because it's very hard but it is possible and worth it. It is a must if we want to be whole. That is why I shared what I learned on here so others could be healed of any addiction they might have. It's important to look at all his posts on that and study them and do as he says because it works. After a 40-year addiction, mine has been resolved. That doesn't mean that I don't have to still be conscious of my choices but when you do the homework and use his advice daily, you can overcome your addiction. I am still learning more about it but the main thing is I was able to overcome my grabbing for sweets or something quick when I was hurting. It works. It definitely works. I tried everything else and I could not get over that addiction but with prayer and studying Carl Jung's videos, I have found healing. I asked God to show me how to get over this addiction and he did. We must heal both bodily and spiritually if we are going to be whole. There's no way around that. People who are serious and really want to get over their addiction, must do the homework and the practice of it

ManuelShorey · MNew

@LadyGrace Thank you for explaining this in such detail. If you don’t mind, may I ask what kind of addiction did you have and how did you come out of it? And how long did it take you to come out of it eventually? During this phase when you felt like improving did you feel like going back to zero ? the videos you posted are inspirational. I will go through them fully. From the outer look, I understand that they are about being authentic and not be people pleasing. But in my case I have that initial friction. While theoretically I am aware of this, it is hard to implement.

LadyGrace ·

@ManuelShorey After studying what's been going on with me for 40 years and not being able to heal myself or help myself, I studied the videos and I found out exactly why I never could conquer my addiction to food. I always turn to food for comfort. I've always had the Lord in my life since July 21st, 1973, and he has been the greatest help but without knowing why I was doing what I was doing, that's where I needed to make the connection so the Lord could help me further. Addiction is just the worst feeling in the world because you have lost power. You have given away your power to addiction and that can be overcome. Well, I knew I was hurting and that I was using food as my comfort but I didn't know how to heal that or what to do. My big mistake was not facing what was causing the addiction. I wanted to avoid it at all cost because it hurt to feel it and acknowledge it, but then I had to. It takes work. It hurts, but you come out the other side, and it's well worth it. When you face your troubles head on, instead of avoiding them, that's when you can heal. There's no getting around it. You take back your power when you face the issue that has you addicted. Not until. As soon as I did that, I freed myself, but that doesn't mean I don't have to keep tabs on myself and be accountable. I do! But now I know the key! That means everything in the world. People don't realize that problems are not there to hurt us. They are there to say hey something needs addressing here! Something needs changing and healing. They are there to protect us so that we can face life and be happy again. They are challenges. Nothing more and we shouldn't give them more credit than they deserve. Problems are challenges. If we want to heal, then we must face them head on and not dodge around about it. The Bible says the truth will set you free and it does, indeed! The truth is we must face what hurts us in order to heal and then we take our power back. Yes you must watch all the videos of Carl Jung as they will bring you to healing. They will teach you how to heal. Oh the cravings will come, the temptation of the devil, but now I have the key to be authentic and allow myself to feel those feelings instead of grabbing for food and when I go through those feelings and do what I need to do, like crying, to get through them, or journaling, that's when you free your authentic self. It's crucial and it's worth it I tell you. You can do this. I Know It! And you are so smart. It is about becoming your authentic self and not playing a role in life. People play all kinds of roles that are unnecessary. When you say yes when you want to say no, you're not being true to yourself, nor are you being your genuine, authentic self. You're playing a role. Stop playing the role and you'll be free. It's not necessary. The mind just made you think it was. But don't let the devil fool you. It doesn't mean Temptations will go away because that's the way this is in this world, but it does mean now you have the tools to know what to do when the Temptation comes and that means all the difference in the world. If you fall off the wagon once, never beat yourself up. Just get back on and next time be more careful, that's all. And no, I didn't have the desire to go back to zero, once I learned the key and have the tools. I know I'll be tempted but now I'm ready. It's possible to train our mind. While we're in this world we're still going to mess up once in awhile, but that's when we learn to be more diligent and not given to anything or give our power away again. It's okay to mess up cuz we're human and as long as we're in this flesh, we're going to be subject to temptation. To say otherwise is lying to ourselves. But at least now we have the tools to handle the addiction and not allow it to have the power. Our flesh is weak, as the Bible says, but that doesn't mean through Christ that we can't overcome. Be prayerful and be diligent and mindful and watchful and you will overcome. As soon as we see the temptation coming, we say okay here it is. It is what it is. Now let's deal with it and then you go on. I've had Temptations since, cuz the devil knows that's my lowest point is my sweets and my comfort food, and that's where he always likes to attack me, but now I say no. No. I work through it and I get to the other side and then I'm fine. It definitely works.

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LadyGrace ·

@ManuelShorey Exactly!! Now you just have to study study study and also study Carl Jung's videos about the shadow. I'm still studying it and trying to absorb it. I understand it but I still need to read more. These absolutely work! Like you I love that part where he speaks about the addiction is not revealing something that we need to avoid, but a message to us to listen to the aspect of us that we were ignoring or blocking.

ManuelShorey · MNew

Thank you very much@LadyGrace

ManuelShorey · MNew

@LadyGrace I somehow am not able to reply to your message in the other thread, so replying here. I wanted to be authentic, and I will try my best. The reason I was not being authentic was mainly because I was ashamed of my addiction. It is not as simple like drinking or social media addiction. I had cultivated a lot of negative thoughts in my mind. And in my circle of friends whom I know no one has this kind of addiction. I was never comfortable sharing this with my family or close ones as well. I don’t know since when I had this. I am not like a normal man and my thoughts are very negative. The first time I could find a familiarity of by weird self is when the movie 50 shades of grey was released. I perform well in what I do sometimes but then the negative thoughts come and it becomes addictive and I struggle to get out of it. After a long struggle I come out of it and then I again go back into that loop. I fantasize myself to be a submissive man in relation to woman. Though I am not harming anyone, I am harming myself with these thoughts. I derive satisfaction with self humiliation and submissive fantasies. I never dared to open up with any psychologist because I was ashamed of myself. I took help online anonymously and I was adviced that everyone is unique and I am wired that way. So the best option for me is to find a dominant woman. Then in recent years I see all these pride movements and unconventional relationships getting evolved. But I hardly met anyone similar to me. Sometimes I get confused. And so far, I have realised that no woman likes a submissive man. But I am not sure whether these submissive desires are my authentic self or are they mere fantasies. One thing is sure, at my current mental state I cannot have any normal relationship with any woman because I cannot do justice in my relationship. Either I have to act as normal or I have to assume that my fantasies define my real me. But if I listen to the videos you shared, I feel like my submissive desires are just a guiding message to look into the aspect of me that I ignored. I am not really able to understand the root cause. Do you also feel I need to consult a psychologist? But in online forums, majority of them ask me to live my desires as if I am unique. These advices got much more prominence since the advent of unconventional relationships. Personally, I believe in conventional relationships and that anything otherwise is going against nature. But I am not able to be a conventional man. Anyways, your message and advice inspired me to be authentic and that gave me some courage to reveal the aspects of my life that I don’t like. I know that after sharing this people especially women will distance themselves from me. And some may troll me. But I wanted to be authentic as you have really tried to help me composing such long inspirational messages. Also, I want to let you know that I am a 40 year old man( I was trying to be anonymous in this forum. Sorry about that but I didn’t have the courage. But somehow I felt I need to be honest with those who help me) who had relationship failure. And everyone feels like I am a nice guy. And in fact I put lot of efforts to project myself to be a nice guy but you know how much my thoughts are contaminated. No one knows this aspect about me and this is the first time I am sharing this. Thank you for listening me.

LadyGrace ·

@ManuelShorey I don't understand why you weren't able to answer me and the other thread because I haven't blocked you or anything. Nothing. That's weird. I think if you keep watching the videos, you'll come out of this. But the last thing you need is a dominant woman because that's not balanced either. Just be truthful with yourself like you're being now and authentic and keep watching different videos by Carl Jung and I believe you will definitely find your way. I'm not a psychologist so I can't help much but I can guide you in the right direction. And I believe his name is Alan Watts, also has videos that can help you because they discuss different personalities and why they do what they do and the best part is they don't cost anything. These are the best psychologists in the world. There's nothing wrong with you. Something has just caused you to become in balance in relationships and that can be fixed. I'm proud of you for watching the videos. Keep doing so and they will help you untangle the mixed thoughts and negative thoughts.