I think i have an addiction to sadness.

@SW-User what does that do for you?

@SW-User it reminds me that I'm connected to people. Or do something nice for an animal if you're sick of people. Buy a plant and care for it till it flowers or fruits. Do something external. You're comfortable in misery and don't see the point in generosity, but I bet if you volunteered with some doggies you'd feel a warmth of joy that you can't experience unless you share yourself.

@SW-User also half baked.

@SW-User honestly, i think the real issue for me isnt that i dont enjoy helping others. Its the immediate society i live in that i dont think is deserving of my generosity. I'm actually a very kind and giving person. But over the last year ive caught on to the deceipt of others and how theyve taken advantage of me or that they're not truly grateful. So it made me harden, and less giving.

Theres so much toxicity around, i think thats why i'm always feeling alone. Everyone is a stranger around us nowadays and no one wants to build that "village" vibe and truly care about the other person. Its an absence of humanity maybe..

It's probably why we all end up going towards pets/animals for comfort and resolve of that absent feeling.

@SW-User Fkn A I hear that.

I'm stuck in a place my kindness is useless also. But I'm moving as soon as I can. I try to stay fair. But I understand not wanting to give because it isn't safe. It blocks you up.

Are you going to stay or try to find some place more community minded? That's what I'm going for too. My home is completely gentrified.

@SW-User i've been thinking about moving but i dont know where I'd go. My family is here and my business is rooted here.

I live in a town that's 95% korean so they dont want anything to do with me.

Im motivated to make the move but i have to figure out where. I was thinking texas or north carolina.

@SW-User Can you do a little traveling? Both are beautiful.

@SW-User i could. But my wife is against moving. So i'd likely leave her behind if she doesnt wanna go.

@SW-User Sounds like a tough one.

@SW-User knowing her though. She'd cave and just move with me.

@SW-User Your well being in your relationship is important too.

Sounds like a road trip!

@SW-User hah yeah but it comes at a point where sometimes i just feel trapped. And i dont like that.

Road trip would be fun.