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I'd Rather Get To Know You Than Small Talk

I honestly don't understand small talk. People ask me all the time "How are you?" and "What are you doing?" but when I just meet someone I doubt they really are interested in the answers I could give them. On top of that when I don't give a customary answer they expect, it's assumed something is wrong with me.
No. Its something wrong with them- even if they are the majority. In the days of barter a person was bound by every word like an oath. His reputation often determined the success or failure of his whole life. In the world of currency, word has little value unless written and signed or sealed. People could lie and cheat as long as they had enough money to have this overlooked. now it has reached extremes where people just talk, not caring if they are heard, and not paying attention to others who are speaking to them.
I'm exactly the same way. But I think I understand small talk, I just can't be around it. There's no substance to it. I think if they just said blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, it would do the same job. Whatever that is.
Wendy33 · F
@PhoenixPhail bla bla? bla bla bla bla! oh bla bla bla
@Wendy33 Yes. Exactly.
With most people, I find initial statements like "How are you?" and "What are you doing?" to be greetings rather than questions. And as greetings, people expect the typical greeting-like answers. "I'm fine. How are YOU?" and "Oh, not much. What are YOU doing?" Or words to that effect. When I answer someone's "How are you" by telling them how I REALLY am, it's strange to them because they were just saying "hi."
Axelerator · 31-35, M
I couldn't agree more, small talk is so uninteresting and rarely serves a purpose, it can be used to break the ice which is expected. I would think it's great if people reach a point where they're willing to talk about far more stuff, and not waste too much time before. All i can do is spread the idea :)
LyricalOne · F
But when you just meet someone, they’re not gonna ask for details about your childhood or latest Pap smear. You gotta start somewhere.
LyricalOne · F
@Wendy33 Unfortunately that’s not how social interaction works. Gotta sing and dance to get to substance.
DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F
@LyricalOne but why DON'T they ask about my childhood? Or my favorite vacation spot? Or what Hogwarts house I'm in? Saying something original and unusual like that would catch my attention faster than "Wyd" or "How are you?"
Wendy33 · F
@LyricalOne I've never been one for rules. If the rules don't fit, change the rules.
TeirdalinFirefall · 31-35, M
Just think of people asking about how your day went or what plans you have just being like a daily easy to answer question; and some people do generally care about how random peoples days were. lol
That's a popular extroverted way of dealing with people.
As an introvert, I HATE small talk.
Wendy33 · F
@PhoenixPhail I find it's not exclusive to extroverts. I see it more in sensors vs intuitive types. Me being an intuitive rational (NT) I find myself annoyed or even dumbfounded by the extent of small talk. To me, words are precious and with a site that is not known for it's efficiency with messages, I would rather not waste time going back and forth over mundane occurrences.
@Wendy33 I feel the same way.
Mindful · 56-60, F
I used to feel that way... Now I like the safety that comes from small talk. Real talk gets you in trouble!
Life is way too short for just talking about the weather .
ISMELLPROTEINPOWDER · 22-25, M
Talking online has a barrier of nothing to talk about or small talk
Lanyx · 41-45, M
I agree. I want a conversation worth my time.
R5000 · 41-45, M
I don't need to talk politics or religion
DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F
It's like you took this right out of my mind.
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