What thoughts are most prevalent on your mind when you first wake up ?

I may regret this in here ....
I'm thinking about death and if there were some magical way to really change my existence for the better if I would take it or choose to leave this life. I know that magic doesn't exist there is only me. But even wanting that lets me know I don't really want to die . I just want the pain to stop.

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Rumination · 41-45, M

I’m convinced that lowness comes from being aware. 100% my own opinion, but I feel like the more aware someone is, the more futile life seems

There’s a “phenomenon”… I put that in quotes because that’s exactly how I read it; where listening to sad and depressing music can give you a sense that you’re not alone in your being. It it gives you a bit of a high…

…all that you say, I wake up every single day with one of those songs playing. My family thanks I’m nuts, but it really does make me feel better.