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I Hate Bullies

How do you think the school should handle this?
A student intentionally injures and causes bruising to another student. It was done to show the victim what would happen to them again if they don't fulfill a specific request the bully has made that has to be done in a specific amount of time. The bully has also threatened they will hurt the victim again if they tell anyone about it.
Believe it or not these two students are in Kindergarten. The demand is for candy. Crazy huh?
My daughter is the victim. She was waiting in line after recess with this other boy next to her. He gave her an "indian burn" on her arm. He told her she better bring him candy by Monday or he will do it to her again. He also said if she tells anyone about it he will do it to her again.
I contacted her teacher who contacted the principal. I haven't heard anything back yet about it. Her dad asked me if there was any bruising. I didn't even think of that. When I looked at her arm I was shocked to see two light blue bruises on the inside of her elbow.
I really feel bad for this other student. Something is either very wrong with him or something is very wrong in his home.
At the same time I don't want him around my daughter anymore.
I don't know how the school will handle this. He's just a little kid but something has to be done.
Gentletickler
It's odd, I had this happen to my daughter. When it happened, I took my daughter over to the child's house and knocked on the front door. My daughter's mom was Australian (she left year's ago) and so my daughter is a beautiful light brown complexion. She could be one of 10 different ethnicities. Aboriginal, Spanish, Brazilian, Mayan, Native American, Hawaiian, Egyptian, South African, anyway ultimately an earthling. 馃槀 But I digress. At any rate, the little boy's father answers the door. He's 5'10", 6' about 180 lbs. well built. 馃槸 I'm 6'4", about 225 lbs. Afro American, was a professional athlete back in the day. 馃槼 I tell the Dad that his son struck my child and I'd like to speak to him. The Dad looks confused and calls his son to the door (Notice he didn't invite us in). My daughter and his son are both about 7.

When the son gets to the door I say to him "YOU hit my daughter in the FACE!" And show him the welt under her eye. I tell the boy "YOU will NEVER touch her again!"...and I turn to the Dad and say "Because IF HE DOES, I will come back here and beat you until you need to go to the EMERGENCY ROOM....and THEN I will beat your child! Do you understand me?!?" 馃槨

The look of terror in the Dad's face was startling. He looked down at his son and asked him "Did you hit her?" The son looked down at the floor. He asked again "DID YOU HIT HER?" The son nodded his head just before the back of his Dad's hand came crashing down on the side of his face. 馃槰

It wasn't hard to figure out where the son's behavior had come from. 馃槖 The next day (Monday) I walked my daughter into the classroom and advised the teacher of what had happened. She was horrified! 馃槺 As I got ready to leave, I saw the little boy. I went over and asked "You DO remember ME, right?" The look of terror on his face was again startling. I got down on my knees so we could be sort of eye to eye and I said "You know, there's NEVER a reason for one person to HIT another. We come to school to learn to use our words, not our fists." You could see him trying to process it and you could actually SEE the light go on. He started to cry and grabbed me around the neck and started to cry "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do it!" I let him finish having his cry and then went over to the teacher with him, so that she could help comfort him. I heard that later, the little boy told the class that he had hit my daughter and that he was wrong and sorry. ALL the other children comforted him for being brave enough to admit his mistake and apologize. It's NOT how you expect it to work out, but it was worth the effort. 馃槉 The end.
Gentletickler
My point in ALL of this was to help the DAD understand that I was prepared to go to jail for assault if his kid EVER TOUCHED my child again. I "get" your point "Tulip" and I "tried" to minimize the event by "getting on my knees" to talk "WITH" the child, NOT TALK AT HIM.

What I was trying to communicate was that kids reflect what they see in their daily environment. That his DAD was OK with backhanding him tells you "ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW" about "WHY" he thought it was OK to hit someone else. 馃槼

At the end of the day, I don't give an "F" about HOW disillusioned his kid is! His kid hit mine in the FACE, unprovoked. 馃槯 In a different environment (read: the hot spots of the Middle East), there would have been no discussion whatsoever! 馃槮 Fortunately, we live in a less "aggressive" environment, but PLEASE don't think even for a SECOND that there are not multiple resolutions to this issue that are FAR MORE OMINOUS than how this one worked out. I "get" that you think there was another way to address this issue "without" talking with the Dad and the child. It's ALSO why we have children today, that think they can do whatever the "F" they want to without any consequences. I didn't have the conversation with the child to scare him. I had the conversation with the DAD to help him understand the CONSEQUENCES of condoning bullying! 馃槧 I don't "try" to be a bad ass, but I'm not going to let ANYONE piss down my kid's back and then try to tell ME it's raining outside! 馃槯
DJsmum2006
I agree with everything you said.
Peacebabe
Dude, you sound so ignorant. Let's just hope that you don't have any kids of your own.
Noetic
My daughter was hit and punched by a boy in her class. I saw bruises on her and asked how she got them. She told a lame story about the wind blowing a door. I said I knew better. She was in the 5th grade. And the bruising was in several stages of going away.
I sat her down and told her to sit there till she could tell me the truth. She came right out with it.
The next morning I was in the Principles office. I asked him who was in charge at the school. I knew he was going to say he was at that question and it set him up for my next. So you are the guy I'm going to go after for not protecting my daughter while in your care? I explained what, where and how. To my surprise he was aware of the boys treatment off all the kids not just mine. I told him that was his concern not mine, mine was the bruising on my daughter. Bottom line, he was scared to fix it because the boys father was abusive. REALLY? i told my girl to fight back! The next day, I got a call from the school saying I needed to cone in my daughter was in a fight. I went and said I had told her to defend her self. She did and sent the boy home with marks. I said that if anything went down against my daughter for defending herself not only would there be litigation but i would take out a one page add in the local paper taking about how bullying was acceptable at that school.
The boy got nice after his thumping and wanted to be friends. They got rid of the Principle.
They need to take this boy on while he is little. He will get worse the older he gets.
Sorry it was so long.
SmartKat
Good for you!
SW-User
@Noetic Good for you... and good for her!
fuerza23
First of all, its wonderful you see both sides of this. So many times you see parents having a go at schools and practitioners for incidents. Its also wonderful that you care about the little boy. By the sounds of it, that little boy needs some support that he's not getting at home. Also your little girl will know that what he did isn't acceptable and that she can talk to you and is safe to do so. I can understand you don't want your daughter around him. I would imagine that now the school are aware that, parents will be talked to, extra vigilance will be in place as well as some sort of plan in place to compile information and records of the little boy and then these can be passed on to someone who can help him. There is usually someone who is well trained to deal with more difficult behaviours that usually support the little boy. As for your daughter, your views will impact on her and your openmindedness will hopefully reflect on her and she will realise there's nothing wrong with here but some people do unkind things because they might find things difficult. I hope this little boy gets help and your daughter isn't too upset by the situation.
SmartKat
Take photos of the bruises.

If you have not heard back from the school in 3 business days, go talk to the other child's parents.

If, after doing this, that particular waste of flesh terrorizes your child again - you can conclude that none of the adults in this situation are going to be any help at all.

In that case - meet the bully yourself. Find a way to get him alone. Wear a mask or something so he can't identify you later.

Twist his arm in an Indian burn until he cries. Tell him that this will happen every time he does it to your child.

Hopefully, of course, either the school or his parents will do the right thing and suppress his bullying - before you have to get to this point.

But he can't be allowed to get away with this crap. Bullying cannot be tolerated.

I don't care if he's "just a child" and if he's being bullied himself. He's still hurting other children, and that has to be nipped in the bud. Making bullshit excuses about what an "innocent child" he is will not do any good.
runemagic
bullies have ruined my life to be fair the dam teachers bullied me too but the kids hated me nothing was done i wanted to kill myself i have days now even 36 yrs later wondering am i worthy of living that is how much bullies have ruined my life they spat at punched me kicked bit lied it never leaves my mind i have an anxiety disorder i cant function on a normal level i fear everyone and everything is just mocking me so yeah bullies destroy lives
Shade74
My daughter had a bully in their group of friends and they grouped up against the bully and eventually her friends started to believe they could stand up to her. The bully was knocked down chipped a tooth and turned her attention to someone else. The school will do nothing. I also taught my daughter how to hit someone in the throat with a straight hand and let her practice on me. Bullies don't like role reversal.
18776J
Find a way to volunteer in the class or maybe for library time. When you do...go up to this child and introduced yourself. You can handle the situation from there on how to talk to him calmly. It will also show your daughter how a situation should be handled... By the way.. Good for your daughter to tell you.. Your a wonderful parent!
morrginF
Thank you. I've always told her that if someone tells her to not tell anyone then that makes it all the more important to tell.
SW-User
You're doing the right thing... addressing it. Don't back down.
Mishu69
Most schools have anti - bullying programs. Give the principal a chance to respond. They are probably doing some fact checking before responding to you. It isn't right. Something needs to be done.
SmartKat
Three business days should be enough time.
morrginF
It happened on Thursday and I was told I would be contacted before Monday. So I'm just waiting until then. I'll still have to walk her into school on Monday which is perfectly fine. For some reason it doesn't seem right to have her out of sight of me or her teacher that morning. I would think it would be too scary. I don't know if I'm explaining my thoughts correctly so they're understood about this. Hmmmm......I just want her to reassured that her safety is important.
ABQScorpio52
I would talk to the parents of this bully and if nothing is done, then the father should be arrested in put in jail.. Let's see how the father likes it then. I am so sorry about your daughter. Maybe you could file a complaint with the State Attorney.
picklebobble
Yes! And it needs to be done NOW!
For two reasons.
1. So that this child can equate what he did with the knowledge that it was wrong!
2. So that your daughter too, can see what happens if you assault somebody!
And know that the consequences are followed up!
TheStomachCreeper
You tried the school now go directly to his parents and let them know that you're going to the police with a complaint of assault on your child. F--k that crap. It'd assault!!!
Adogslife
Wow! That's just a mind bending story in so many ways. Hopefully the boy's mistake will lead back to his parents. He certainly didn't learn that on his own.

Good luck.
vickysu5
same bullies think that they are cool but actually they not cool they are bullies why would they be cool

 
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