I Get Sad Sometimes

A psychiatrist I see once every two months at my school keeps saying I'm depressed and offering to write me script for antidepressants. I don't want them. I'm doing a lot better than I have before, and even if I am on the spectrum of being depressed, I'm doing okay on my own. It isn't a yes or no thing, as my weekly counselor had said. It's an option if things do get harder. But I don't have to feel like I do or don't need them. I should stay open to them, but I'm not
After posting that bullshit last night before work I got really really cold and couldn't stop crying. I was going to call my friend, but who wants to hear about that at 11:30 at night
It took me a really long time to feel normal again while I was at work. I had several cigarettes on my way there, while there, and on my way back to my dorm this morning. I still feel, this word comes to mind, deflated. My heart is in nothing right now but my bed.