I Am Happy
I have been on a journey over the last few years. I have lost many things. Perhaps the most hurtful was family. BUT, something wonderful recently came about even though it began with sad news...
Tragically, my (birth) mother died 2 weeks ago. We had lost contact (it is impossible to explain the complexities on this forum). My relationship with her family was incredibly strained and I was under a lot of pressure from my (adopted) family also.
But, in meeting up with them to farewell the woman that bought me into this world, we have reconnected. And because of the disintegration of the relationship with my (adopted) parents I feel incredibly free to embrace my new found connection with my (birth) family. (yeah, I know it's a little complex...all the birth/adopted stuff!).
For most of my life I have felt starved of family affection. In my (adopted) family if I didn't 'perform' a certain way, there was no love and I was put on the 'outer' until I conformed.
But right now I am experiencing a flood of warmth and embrace from 'my people'. I can't explain how it feels. To be loved and wanted and accepted by family is the most exquisite experience. It has washed away all the hurt and rejection that has piled up over the years with my (adopted) family.
I am happy.
Tragically, my (birth) mother died 2 weeks ago. We had lost contact (it is impossible to explain the complexities on this forum). My relationship with her family was incredibly strained and I was under a lot of pressure from my (adopted) family also.
But, in meeting up with them to farewell the woman that bought me into this world, we have reconnected. And because of the disintegration of the relationship with my (adopted) parents I feel incredibly free to embrace my new found connection with my (birth) family. (yeah, I know it's a little complex...all the birth/adopted stuff!).
For most of my life I have felt starved of family affection. In my (adopted) family if I didn't 'perform' a certain way, there was no love and I was put on the 'outer' until I conformed.
But right now I am experiencing a flood of warmth and embrace from 'my people'. I can't explain how it feels. To be loved and wanted and accepted by family is the most exquisite experience. It has washed away all the hurt and rejection that has piled up over the years with my (adopted) family.
I am happy.
41-45, F
