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I Have a Phobia

This is a fairly odd phobia, so I understand if you think less of me after reading this.

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Paruresis: it’s a phobia of urinating in public places. I suffer from social anxiety caused by this phobia really badly. Put simply, it stops me from being able to use toilets anywhere other than my own home, with a few exceptions (such as my friends’ homes or hotel toilets). If I’m out at a shopping centre or in school/college, I have to hold until I’m at home again. If I try to go while I’m out in public, my bladder locks itself up and I physically cannot do anything. It’s a scary thing because I never really know if it’s going to unlock again. I have to sit there, getting more and more desperate as the day goes on. I have no say in when it gives in: my bladder simply gives in when it reaches its full capacity. Once this happens, I can only hold myself back for several minutes before I’m releasing myself everywhere. Thus far, I’ve never lost myself in front of other people, I’ve always stayed close to a bathroom.

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Thanks for reading. I know it’s really odd, so if you still have any questions, I’ll try my best to answer them below for you.
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Cheesecake · 61-69, M
I honestly don't think any decent person will think any less of you. Quite the opposite. It's very brave to open up to people about something so personal. Good luck in dealing with it ☺
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