I Think This Is Gross
I've been thinking recently about how much time we actually spend, wafting around in other people's guff (fart) stench..
The weekend really highlighted this (as do most supermarket shopping trips) but at two points this weekend, I was engulfed in stench.
Firstly my 2 year old nephew (whilst the wedding party were doing their speeches) was sat on my lap and I was trying to keep him quiet whilst they were talking..
Before I knew it I felt a mini rumble on my lap. I whispered to my nephew, did you just fart, to which he giggled profusely. 5 minutes later another little rumble and he's pumped another little stinker out. At this point I whisper to him, you smell like poo and, in the middle of the speech, he yells "hahha I smell like poo" ..bless his stinky little butt..
Later on in the evening, there was (as these parties usually go) a disco.. Me and the missus were on the dance floor for most of the evening, as was, what I now call.. The Mystery Stechdropper. No lie, every 2.5 minutes, a stench arose on the dance floor which scared children and less braver men and women away, crying and weeping..
It made me think just how much we are milling around in people's methane.. We are pretty naturally gross as people and there's nothing any of us can do about it.. I know tomorrow, I'll probably get trapped in another's fart cloud somewhere and I know that I will probably trap someone in mine one day too 🏃🏼💨
The weekend really highlighted this (as do most supermarket shopping trips) but at two points this weekend, I was engulfed in stench.
Firstly my 2 year old nephew (whilst the wedding party were doing their speeches) was sat on my lap and I was trying to keep him quiet whilst they were talking..
Before I knew it I felt a mini rumble on my lap. I whispered to my nephew, did you just fart, to which he giggled profusely. 5 minutes later another little rumble and he's pumped another little stinker out. At this point I whisper to him, you smell like poo and, in the middle of the speech, he yells "hahha I smell like poo" ..bless his stinky little butt..
Later on in the evening, there was (as these parties usually go) a disco.. Me and the missus were on the dance floor for most of the evening, as was, what I now call.. The Mystery Stechdropper. No lie, every 2.5 minutes, a stench arose on the dance floor which scared children and less braver men and women away, crying and weeping..
It made me think just how much we are milling around in people's methane.. We are pretty naturally gross as people and there's nothing any of us can do about it.. I know tomorrow, I'll probably get trapped in another's fart cloud somewhere and I know that I will probably trap someone in mine one day too 🏃🏼💨
