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I Hate My Ex Husband

My ex husband will have nothing to do with his three younger children who live with me. I've tried everything to get him to see them but he really isn't interested. Our eldest child lives with him and the woman he ran off with, who he married. I've always spent time with my eldest son and see him every possible opportunity I can. The trouble is my ex keeps trying to push me out of our boys life. If there are appointments we need to attend say for our sons college he makes sure the appointments are when I can't go cause of looking after are younger kids. Then he takes his wife to these appointments instead. She even introduced herself as his mum the other day. I've always been close to all my kids and I never wanted my boy to live with my ex but I lived in the country and he wanted to be near his mates in the town. The thing is now I'm just so sad cause it feels like they are trying to replace me in his life.
I'm going through the same w my daughter.... it's heartbreaking when the "other" parent puts a wedge between mother and child and it feels intentional I know men go through this too, hence why I was never that creep but never thought HE would do this to me..... out children will one day come back to us on their own.
My son, her brother, has had words w his sister for her behavior and she broke down and cried. I think she is being bribed to stay w her dad and she doesn't want to leave
@Solitair exactly.
My ex husband had the nerve to tell me he was providing her w a family environment.... that floored me to hell! I was a rage!
That rat bastard forgot he cheated on me and left his family because he couldn't control himself. I kept the kids safe, healthy, bought them a home and provided my kids with the best, AMAZING family environment single handedly. He gave me nothing.... jerk!
He's got such a selfish ego... it's mind blowing

I pray for you and I. This will get better. We usually win in the end. As long as we continue to be good mothers, we win!
Solitair · 46-50, F
@IntoMeYouSee you sure we were not married to the same man!lol
I hope your right cause I'm so tired of this constant battle. I see other divorced parents who have managed amicable terms and wish that I had that. I never wanted my marriage to break up but when it did I thought we'd still always do right by our kids. Using them the way he does is very cruel. Just hope in time yours and my situation improves.
@Solitair we ended horribly but divorced can completely fine. I didn't want nothing from him. I was better on my own. Made more money than he and he was broke and in debt. I actually requested not to receive his shitty $96 a month for child support for both the kids. He swore he'd sew me for alimony if he could. Lol (what a shit ass!)
Karma is funny though.... and he got his and is still taking it backside.

His revenge was getting a chick 13 years younger pregnant and moving her in to start "his" family. That's all good and cute, but he wanted to keep our daughter locked to his hip to look good for this other woman. See, he is making my daughter happy in ways he thinks he should: as if I left him... but she will wake up If she hasn't already. It's not going to be cute when she's tired of his deception
Nobody could ever replace my mother, boys have a bond with their moms that money and BS cannot break. Unless you've done something unforgivable he will always be yours in his mind and his heart. Just keep supporting him and let him know you will always be there for him.
Solitair · 46-50, F
@hellsinfidel thank you. We talk all the time and he knows I'm always there for him. Not a day goes by when we don't say goodnight and love you to each other.
yeronlyman · 51-55, M
When a man suffers marriage breakdown he can become isolated from his kids for many reasons including but not limited to:

1) being vilified by his ex (right or wrongly)
2) lack of access, lack of contact
3) emotional stability and maturity
4) his emotional investment in his new relationship
5) the financial obligations
6) hormonal changes
7) resentment
yeronlyman · 51-55, M
@Solitair That’s heartbreaking... it leaves your kids and you in a difficult situation... I had a different albeit similar situation when I was young, our mum more than made up for the absence of our dad and we were all very close to her... and our grandparents... she was a very good woman.

Strangely I now recognise my mum taught me how to be a better dad Long before I became a dad...

They are lucky they have you
Much peace and respect... 💐🙏🏻
Solitair · 46-50, F
@yeronlyman thank you.
yeronlyman · 51-55, M
@Solitair peace and respect 💐
Curiousme · 56-60, M
Emotions are one issue, but he has financial and other responsibilities to his children too!
Take him to court for child support if you have to.
Solitair · 46-50, F
@Curiousme I've gone to child support and that's being sorted. I just wish he'd understand the damage he's doing. Marriages break up, people fall out of love and whilst I wish he hadn't cheated and left, it happened. What I don't understand is how anyone can behave so cruel to their kids. He uses my eldest as well to control me cause he knows I'll do anything for my kids.
Ramrod · 46-50, M
How do the younger kids feel about their father ?
Solitair · 46-50, F
@Ramrod confused and angry. They still love him but feel he doesn't love them if he doesn't want to see them. I use to keep saying he does love them but that didn't help. Now as time goes on and he continues to disappoint them they seem less bothered. I'm not sure if this is good or bad.
Beebo · M
Show them kids as much love as you can. It wins towards the end!
Danez · M
That's sad and I feel for your younger kids.
I dont hate my x now. She is no longer a part of my life

 
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