I Have Alot of Sadness In My Heart

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[b]People First Not Stuff[/b]

I spent Thanksgiving in the hospital with him. He came home for the holidays. He was finally laid to rest last Friday. He stood as our father (my son and me) after my husband's passing.

I will remember him as always saying this to me: "There are only two types of people in this world: Those who live for themselves and those who live for others. Which type are you? Are you a person that prioritizes other people before yourself? More importantly do you prioritize people and your relationships over things,career, material achievements, possessions, acquiring status, power?" As much as I would listen to him then, I never took his words seriously or applied his teachings as they fitted me.

He was somebody easy to live with, with graciousness and generosity. As a young widow, facing difficult situations, he was always there reminding me every time, to give something up daily; give up having to be right, give up pride, give up anger, give up self-righteousness.

He was generous in wishing others success. He often said, "Avoid envy, intrigues and the crab mentality. Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. And wish success upon others and it will return a thousandfold."

He was a forgiving person always giving me the leeway I didn't deserve. I once asked him why he was such, and he said, "Remember that you yourself need forgiveness. Remember also that only God is the judge of us all."

'People first, not stuff.' I believe him now. It's the essence of love as the highest form of maturity. It often requires a sacrificial gift. If there's no sacrifice in our actions, we are most likely reacting to something nice they did for us, or simply pretending to be kind to gain some control over people. As Christian writer Joyce Meyer said, "True love gives of itself. When we have the other person's interest at heart, we're giving of ourselves.....We cannot live selfish lives and expect to make a difference. We must die to self every single day."

It may sound difficult, but looking back, that's how our uncle lived his life. He was a very simple unassuming man. He never gave us gifts; now I understand why. He lived his truth, he put people first not stuff.