[b]I[/b] pause and whisper, “I will not make war against my own heart.” I have many opportunities to practice, as I make many mistakes. I choose: do I judge myself or let it go?
This is an act of courage for me, as it goes against ingrained habits of beating myself up. It’s not easy. The mind loves to judge. To label. To should all over us; “You shouldn’t have.” It's trying to find ground, a place where we feel enough.
To stop the war, I have to let go. To practice unconditional love. It’s not unconditional love if it’s conditional.
Let go of self doubt, judgment, jealousy, anxiety; the way I separate myself from others as a form of self protection….Of course, I’ve most loathed those parts of me that are dark and troubled. The parts that make me feel like I don’t belong because I’m often trying to keep my head above water when others seem to be swimming laps around me.
And yet something wiser whispers, “Enough.” It is this voice that calls me home: love my tender humanity, love my imperfection, love my sensitive soul. No more will I blame you.
With this perspective, I hold loosely onto that list of “faults.” I care with wisdom. And I detach a bit. I’m not the sum of my challenges nor my mistakes. Why should I feel ashamed for being human; for needing love and forgiveness like everyone else?
