I Know What Heartbreak Is

12 year relationship .... Filled with ups and downs . We were meant to marry in a few months , I'd paid for our flights , booked our honeymoon , my parents paid the deposit for the venue , I'd bought my wedding dress , two of them .... Bought my bridesmaid dresses , all our accessories .... Bought every single detail of our reception .... Some items are still being delivered now ..... He cancelled our wedding . He says it's because he feels I haven't supported him following the death of his grandmother (who was like a mother to him) , two months ago ..... I tried , albeit I'm imperfect , I tried with a good heart ..... I complained sometimes when he tore the house apart and I had to return home from work and clean up after him , I nagged alot .... but I also encouraged him ... On my days off I applied for new jobs for him , I sat and listened to him tell me every single thing he disliked about me ' I do nothing for him ' 'i never do anything right ' ' I never put him first' and it would go on and on for hours on end , almost every evening . It even went as far as him saying , after I hugged him following one of his sessions of telling me how worthless I am .... He told me the way I hug him is inconsiderate ... I don't consider him when I hug him ..... I couldn't even hug him right . It all ended in him telling me 'you are too immature to have children or to be a wife , and one of us will need to be mature enough to make this decision .... So I asked 'what ? Is the wedding off ?' he said 'yes' ... I gave him his ring back. Despite this , I said nothing till the following morning whilst at work ... I said ' whilst I know you are going thru alot , it is important that you know that we promised to love , commit and forgive each other , you made a very big decision yesterday , that you no longer want to marry me and that the wedding is off , and if u meant this then we need to take the time to tell our friends and family so that they don't book and flights or hotels for a wedding that isnt happening ... But if this was just said in anger , then I recommend we seek some professional counselling ... You know what this man said ... That I'm putting other people's feelings before him 'yet again' and he doesn't give a damn about people spending money and that 'this isnt the right time' never the less , I stood my ground .. and he ended the message by saying ' tell them ' ' it's off' ... Fast forward to now , he went ahead and told his family that the wedding is off 'due to my behaviour ' and told my family .. I called the wedding off . Now 2 weeks on , I'm in a country 20hrs away from home .. still in shock and in immense pain . I now have assets and a home to divide .... he now has a house , a new job (double his annual salary) and is awaiting an inheritance ....