I Know What Heartbreak Is
It's been almost 10 months of hell since she left. She's been in Basic for 8 weeks and even after the breakup we'd never gone more than a week without talking to each other. This have been the first week I didn't get a letter from her. I write her every day.
I don't think I'm pathetic because I'd never let her use me for anything. Ever.
I don't feel like a fool because I know she's not coming back. Even if she said she was. I can't believe she still thinks of me like that.
I'm just going to keep doing this until she starts dating someone else and pushes me out of her life. We still can't talk for more than five minutes without being [i]exactly[/i] like we always were with other and that's way, way too close to her being unfaithful to her new partner for either of us to be comfortable with. I know it's going to hurt. But so does saying goodbye to her now. No matter what I do it's only going to get worse for me. At least this way I get to hang out with her a little while before she disappears forever.
I know it sounds stupid but I don't know what else to do. I guess I just love her too damn much.
I don't think I'm pathetic because I'd never let her use me for anything. Ever.
I don't feel like a fool because I know she's not coming back. Even if she said she was. I can't believe she still thinks of me like that.
I'm just going to keep doing this until she starts dating someone else and pushes me out of her life. We still can't talk for more than five minutes without being [i]exactly[/i] like we always were with other and that's way, way too close to her being unfaithful to her new partner for either of us to be comfortable with. I know it's going to hurt. But so does saying goodbye to her now. No matter what I do it's only going to get worse for me. At least this way I get to hang out with her a little while before she disappears forever.
I know it sounds stupid but I don't know what else to do. I guess I just love her too damn much.
36-40, T
