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I Think Verbal Abuse Is Just As Bad As Physical Abuse

At what point do you give up on a verbally abusive person? Knowing they have a mental illness, does this mean they don't mean to be abusive? When do you stop? After ten years? Thirty? How much is too much.

What if this is one of your own children? Are you obliged to accept it as parental duty?

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SagePoet · 70-79, M

Tough situation. One of my roommates is verbally abusive. He has a mental illness. I know how to to him. It's not an easy situation. And a child no less, can't turn your back on a child. I think you need to learn and set boundaries so you can deal with them but not accept the verbal pounding that's inevitable.

Serenitree · F

@SagePoet She is a woman in her fifties. I have taken it since she was in her teens. Each time saying nothing. Each time coming away crying. Never leaving until I'm dismissed by being told to get the hell out. Thursday evening, I came away angry, instead of sad. I discovered that she isn't just abusive, she makes up stories to beat me with. Then when I confront the person she told me the story about, it makes them cry, because she is just as abusive to them and makes up stories about me, to hurt them.

I don't want to walk away, but, I can't take anymore.

GeniUs · 56-60, M

I'm in the same boat various issues with 2 of my 3 children (the third just ignores me until she wants money). The oldest is back on track, my middle daughter seems to think I'm the Bogeyman and likes it that way. You allow it for love.

Serenitree · F

I've been allowing it for thirty something years. I'm about done. It just keeps getting meaner. @GeniUs

GeniUs · 56-60, M

I just ignore my kids now until they get in touch I just get on with the people who want to be involved with me, there's still a few of them around :)

DiamondPrincess89 · 31-35, F

Verbal abuse is still damaging to the psyche. I've had to deal with it since I was 10 - by parents. No, you cannot accept it. It has no place in the home nor the outside, because others will feel unsafe.

It's part of the reason I'm out and about more than home (unless I'm tired).

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Serenitree · F

@DiamondPrincess89 Several actually. Borderline, for one. Paranoia, (but not related to schizophrenia) Agoraphobia,( related to the paranoia.) Oppositional disorder. And psychotic behaviour.

And not diagnosed....maybe because there's no word for it, she hates everyone, (meaning all of our family and all of our friends) and feels that, as her mother I should disassociate myself from them. It's the only thing to do if I love her. Cut off every other person in my family and stick by her, only.

DiamondPrincess89 · 31-35, F

@Serenitree Bummer.

Serenitree · F

@DiamondPrincess89 yes. It's sad, because there is no way in hell im turning my back on 14 other family members because she told me I'm a bad mother. I'd BE a bad mother if I dumped the other three daughters, six grandkids and great grands.

nedkelly · 61-69, M

verbal abuse, Intimidation, Emotional abuse, Financial abuse are the lesser known types of domestic violence

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