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I Am Not Romantic

Romance is OK for teenagers or maybe for the very young. But I wince when I read a romantic rant on here by anyone declaring an age over 30. It seems inappropriate and immature. Especially those situations in which the people involved have never actually met and have only texted or talked over the phone. Real love doesn't happen until you have actually met someone in person and spent significant amounts of time with them. You can "fall in love" at first sight, of course. I understand that very intense attractions happen. But that is not really love in any sense that I understand it. I don't really feel comfortable with words like "soulmate" if they are used by someone beyond their earliest dating years. They sound silly and meaningless to me. I always hesitate to post this kind of response to anyone having a cloud nine romantic fantasy. I know they won't like it and that a lot of angry people here will see me as a joy killer. I know I have had an unusually unhappy life in this and in other respects, so I am hardly wise or objective about these kinds of over the top love rants. But, then, neither are the people that post them.

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SW-User

What is love to you? What does it mean to you?

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

@SW-User I admit I am not really sure. But raving about someone you barely know at all is not it.

SW-User

@greenmountaingal True. Raving about someone we barely know at all is not love. It is just a fantasy that has no realistic view.

Love needs time. We have to keep our mind awake and aware of someone before we can truly know if that person is love or not. But love is not something that you think is mostly about negativity. Romance and love tend to get along, and there is nothing wrong if people who are not teenagers can be related to it. Love has no rule, people can love the way they want it to be. And love is about connection, not about reason or facts. I love the word soulmate, but I would only consider someone who is truly my soulmate if I get to know that person well. I don't believe in love with social media. I like to found love when I see in person, not see through words.

You say that you have an unusual unhappy life, which makes you view about love that way. People who usually unhappy with life tend to see things negatively; even things that consider as one of the happiest things to life could be seen as negative under their eyes.

The way you see life will affect the way life treat you because life is you. You are the one who observes yourself, and life observes you. So whatever you think, you do; it will imitate you. And it will show the result of what it copies you and imitating you. And you will understand why your life happens that way.