I Had A Fight With My Boyfriend

And it seems like a big one

I just flew home for the weekend and the boyfriend picked me up from the airport like the sweetie that he is. We got to my parent's house a few hours ago and were hanging out with m&d in the kitchen just chilling and talking.

Some background ... About three weeks ago I got invited to apply to something pretty prestigious. I'm currently in the Navy and this is not something that everyone does. I don't want to go into details, but it's kinda a big deal. I Skyped with mom about it and she was 100% completely against it. It would change the direction of the job I would have within the Navy and she was not in favor. Based on her reaction, I didn't tell the boyfriend about it at all. But I did tell my commanders that I was all in.

Anyway, fast forward back to tonight standing around the kitchen counter and my mom brings it up and looks at the boyfriend and says she hopes he can talk some sense into me. He played it cool at first but the look on his face made it pretty clear that this was the first he was hearing of it and he wasn't happy about that. Mom apologized to me quickly and said it looked like we needed to talk. Ya think? 🙄

Anyway, he and I walked out front and stood leaning on his truck for an hour "talking." Lot's of not nice things were said, some loudly. Finally he left saying he needed to go cool down before he said anything he didn't mean (as if everything he said up to that point he meant).

So I know I screwed up. Relationships are built on openness and trust. But nothing in this decision changes my total commitment time to the Navy (although it is a decision that would help advancement if I did decide to stay in longer). Ugh, anyway, instead of being out on a date, I'm sitting at the desk in my old room trying to figure out if he's going to call me.

About me: https://similarworlds.com/sarabee1995/info

Ambroseguy80 · 56-60, M

🤗🤗🤗

Welcome to relationships!!! Not that you didn’t have any idea already ;)

Anyway, the true villain in all of this is your mother, as I see it. She had no right to assume you had discussed this with BF, and I don’t think she’s put you in a very nice spot. On the other hand, he’s “just a boyfriend”... it’s not like he’s a spouse yet, or even a fiancée, though you may be working in that direction and I haven’t heard it. Anyway, he needs to take a chill pill. You owed him nothing as far as a heads-up about this, and I think he’s being a drama queen in all likelihood.

Sorry your mom did this to you! 😲

sarabee1995 · 26-30, F

@Ambroseguy80 Well the villain is kinda my mom, BUT when I spoke to her, we did talk about him and what his reaction likely would be and I did kinda imply that he was my next call. I just never made that call. So she wasn't outing me, she assumed he knew.

He sees us working toward that (marriage) and has for quite some time. And we have an agreement NOT to discuss that because I'm just not there yet.

Ambroseguy80 · 56-60, M

@sarabee1995 understandable. Still.... your life as far as I see it right now.

On the positive side.... congratulations on your unique opportunity!!!