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I wished i never met my Female Therapist

Do I really mean that, Yes I do. Now I have to live with it for the rest of my life. I feel like I'll never get the closer I need to move on. I'm so head over heels for her and yet, I can't have her. She's Forbidden Fruit that I can't touch. Its the worst feeling to have. I'm so done!!
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I still remember my shrink asking me about any sexual side effects on my cocktail n me saying ed as a joke to which he replied with same . I needed more therapy after that