I Want to Die, I Have Nothing to Live For

I don’t understand what’s wrong with me. But for the past few weeks I have been feeling really depressed and really wanting to end my life. I haven’t acted on it recently but I have really dark thoughts and I keep thinking that everyone’s happy except for me. I keep making jokes about my death as a way of coping better.

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snofan · M

Please talk to someone you trust. I know how difficult it can be asking for help, but please do. It doesn't have to be like this

SW-User

@snofan I don’t have anyone. My family don’t understand. My friends don’t understand or don’t care. Bit of both to be honest. I don’t think my family care ethier. I just deal with it.

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@SW-User People don't understand because they're either concerned that it reflects badly on them, or they legitimately cannot empathize with mental issues. I have a best friend who has zero idea about mental health, but is there anyway

snofan · M

@SW-User Then you need to see your doctor. Clinical depression can be treated. Meds don't make the world a better place, but they do put you in a place where you are better able to cope. Please, please, please talk to a professional.

SW-User

@snofan look I have done more times then care to remember. Nothing works.

snofan · M

@SW-User Then please keep trying. There are so many different types of meds for depression. Something will work for you. If it's not working then insist on something different. I have been in that darkest of dark places. I understand the total exhaustion of being there. You are doing well by seeing and acknowledging what is going on. That is a big step. Please try not to give in to the tiredness. Please go back to you doctor, and tell him/her the things that you have said here.

SW-User

Read my featured post then you might understand @snofan

snofan · M

@SW-User I appreciate what you are saying but - clinical depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. That CAN be treated. In the same way that many other ailments can be treated. There is NO shame in taking something to fix something that is needing fixing. My meds don't make me happy, but they take me back to a place where I am able to cope with life's ups and downs. They don't MAKE me happy, but they ALLOW me to be happy. And I was lucky that I got the right meds first time. Many others are not so lucky. Trying to fight depression on your own, without meds, can be a lot like deciding to fight heart disease on your own. It's most probably just not going to happen. But I am not the professional. Please go back to your doctor, or a different doctor. But please see someone.