I Want to Die, I Have Nothing to Live For

I have died once although I knew nothing about it and sometimes wish that I hadn't been brought back as my heart is only working at only 25 percent ,I have a damaged spine and at 54 can no longer work .I have a defibrulator implant in my chest which is attached wirelessly to a monitor by my bedside which is a direct line to the hospital .However I am alive and have a family who would be heart broken if I wasn't here ,so I live each day as it comes. I am being kept alive on medication .

Tried it, same as other dude it ain't worth it.
I don't know why i keep existing but you just gotta find something to fight for.
easy to forget the things that are worth it when you experience em when you haven't in a while

It ain't worth it brother.

Believe me, I tried