I Don't Want My Life To Be Meaningless

OK, so you're evolving from your original post, and great for you. Your life has a lot of meaning, not only to yourself, but also to us. You can write a well-structured and meaningful post in clear English -- so you can express yourself and make your wishes known to the world. Also you are reading up on what others do, which means that you are inspired to participate in great human actions. If I may be so bold to suggest an idea: Many of us who are good in technical fields are not really very good at -- or bored with -- explaining in detail what we do. We actually need people like yourself, members of the general public, who can explain to everyone what we do and what our products are good for. That general activity might be exactly what you might be good at and where you can make a great contribution.