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Today is hard.

This is the first Father's Day my kids will spend without seeing or talking to their dad. My attorney and advocate both said it was not a good idea to have the kids call him. I know if the roles were reversed he wouldn't have them call me. But I feel super shitty.
Sharon · F
You don't have to do what they say. Remember, they're making money from your situation so it's in their interest to maintain tension between you and your children's father. Do what's best for your children, you'll feel all the better for it.
@Sharon my husband was emotionally abusive to all of us, the older two want nothing to do with him.
Sharon · F
@SomebodyThatYouUsedToKnow [quote]the older two want nothing to do with him.[/quote]
Be guided by what they want. If any do want to call him, let them. No point doing anything to make your children resent you.
SW-User
☹️ He wouldn't have called them?

My niece that's 16 doesn't want to call her dad for the same reason.
It's just how she feels..

Do your kids want to call him? I think that's important to considerate
@SW-User We have a civil protection order, he's not allowed to contact us or be within 500 ft of us. But I am allowed to contact him, I just don't because he is a shit show. My older 2 want nothing to do with him. My younger 2 would talk to him if I called, but they are too young to understand the abuse. They just know that daddy was grumpy all the time.
SW-User
@SomebodyThatYouUsedToKnow if it was my case, and the younger wanted to, I'd just let him talk to him on the phone and say happy day. But you're the mom you have to decide 💚.
ginnyfromtheblock · 26-30, F
you are doing the right thing 🤗🤗🤗
ginnyfromtheblock · 26-30, F
@ginnyfromtheblock i just wanna say that i see people here saying you’re denying them access to their dad and they don’t know shit. no dad is better than an emotionally abusive dad. even if they wanted to talk to him, you’re protecting them. you know better than literal children. i think you know this because you’re loving and wise and wonderful but my claws are about to come out 😠
@ginnyfromtheblock I appreciate the hell out of you ❤️
TexChik · F
Don’t . Transition out of a marriage that ended badly will always have some bad feelings and behaviors attached . Most kids don’t have a clue about mother’s or Father’s Day . Both of you will get over this and eventually if he has any qualities left that you married him for , he will still be a good father . If not , good riddance .
smiler2012 · 56-60
{@longgamegal ] yes is the problem when things start getting legal .really what ever the reason it is the poor kids that are the real losers in this and denied access to there dad especially more so today
@smiler2012 he denied them access to himself their entire lives by choosing a 2nd shift job and to stay up all night alone instead of waking up earlier to see them before work.🤷 He also emotionally and physically intimidated and abused them. I feel guilty because I am a good person, not because he has done anything to deserve their love.
wackidywack · 22-25
it must be so hard but you're doing what you have to protect your family. you're doing the right thing
Coldplay · 56-60, M
Tough situation. Sorry sometimes it has to be this way.
Don't feel bad about it you are doing what is best
SW-User
It is an unpleasant situation but you have to do what seems right to you.

 
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