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I Am Afraid I Will Never Find Someone to Really Love Me

I've been feeling really lonely and down since last night. I was on You Tube and I was watching these videos from a soap opera called As the World Turns about this gay couple. They were so cute with each other and the one was dating a girl before he got with the other guy. The other guy was already out and he was sure of himself. But the more experienced gay guy was saying how he was so sick of falling for these straight guys. He also said how it was so much easier for straight people to find someone in a small town than it was for gay people. He also commented that he'll have to get used to living all alone. I got to thinking and I realize that is my life. I hate myself so much for falling for these straight guys hoping they'll be at least bi and maybe I could have a chance. But it never works out that way. As each year passes on it's getting closer and closer to proving my point that I'm never going to find someone and I'll be alone for the rest of my life.

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hootman

First off, you're not going to be alone for the rest of your life. That's just silly. There are billions of people on this planet.

Second off, it seems like you're idealizing relationships. Life has so much more to offer that can make you happy than being in a relationship with someone. My advice is just to focus on things you love doing, and maybe one day you'll find that someone else loves doing the same things that you do.

patriotsrule1203 · 41-45, M

Thanks for taking the time to give me some great advice. I agree that it's going to take time and patience. It just gets frustrating to look around and see couples happy together and I go home to a cold lonely bed.

hootman

Don't let seeing other couples bother you either. Their lives are complicated and a relationship isn't going to solve all their problems (heck, sometimes the relationship itself is the biggest problem). Even though they look happy together that doesn't mean their situation is ideal. Try to focus on other things that make you happy and then you won't even need to be romantically involved with someone to be satisfied with yourself when you go to bed at night.

patriotsrule1203 · 41-45, M

I know that could be true. I know relationships can be a lot of work and hassles. I also realize that what can be on the outside isn't what is actually going on. I will try to focus on other things in my life that can make me happy. Thanks once again for your advice. I truly appreciate it.

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