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I Am Boring

I don't keep people entertained for very long. A lot of the time when I'm conversing with someone, I can just tell when they don't care to talk with me and are only continuing to do so they don't seem rude. Their responses become brief, they don't make eye contact wit me and just so obviously want to get out of the conversation. 😂

Even here on SW, some users I really like and have conversed with through PMs usually end up leaving shortly after a few replies. 😆 But not that I hold it against them, I actually commend them for being honest about not wanting to talk to me. But I'm not trying to call anyone out or anything like that, I'm only using that as an example of how I'm just not that interesting. I'm awkward, incompetent and am just not a fun person to be around or even chat with. 😕

I still try to engage people and keep things going whenever I find myself talking to someone, especially if they're someone I admire. But it's usually in vain on my part... I've accepted that I'm a boring person a long time ago. Whenever someone tries telling me I'm not, I always say to them: try having one conversation with me. ;)

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SailorMarz · F

Oh really lol

Carver · 31-35, F

Really really.

SailorMarz · F

I feel like im boring irl because when ppl talk to me i zone out a lot & therefore ppl get sick of me & when i zone out i can't contribute to the conversation because i dont know wtf they just said & also i don't like talking about myself so they'll probably get bored of that too. @Carver: llolololol i think im probably more annoying than boring.

Carver · 31-35, F

@SailorMarz: I have a very hard time picturing you as a boring person. No way in hell! Me, I can be pretty abrasive. Whenever I'm not boring people, I'm getting on their nerves. But I never try to be. :(

SailorMarz · F

@Carver: My problem is idk when to chill out & be serious. So yeah its all fun & gAmes with me until i annoy you. Idk how to be..idk normal? Lol & its actually one of the things i hate about myself.

Carver · 31-35, F

@SailorMarz: It's the same for me. Sometimes I get overenthusiastic about things and don't know when to shut up or when it's time to be serious. I really don't know how to be normal either, so to speak. It's one of the many reasons why I hate myself.

SailorMarz · F

Don't you hate the voice in your head that tells you to "stop being annoying" or stupid whenever you notice yourself doing these things? I'm constantly nagging myself in my head & its depressing. Its like the world doesn't want me to be me & whats worse is that i don't want me to be me, either. But luckily sometimes i love myself for who i am. But i constantly battle with loving myself & hating myself. *shrugs* does that make sense? I'm not sure lol!@Carver:

Carver · 31-35, F

@SailorMarz: It makes perfect sense, I'm actually the same way too! 😯 But the only difference is, I always listen to that voice and put myself down or prevent myself from doing things all the time. And I never love myself for who I am. That's good that you at least have some degree of confidence in yourself.

SailorMarz · F

@Carver: Yeah because i try to be positive. Its sorta my thing. Awww look at you having a nice conversation with me tho ;) lol, you're not boring. I proved it. I win.

Carver · 31-35, F

@SailorMarz: Well thank you for not finding me boring. 🤗 But I call confirmation bias! 😜

SailorMarz · F

@Carver: I think you just need to be friends with ppl who are good conversationalists tbh...yanno..someone that gives you somethting to talk about? & i don't blame you for not finding that. Theres not many ppl who know how to hold a conversation..ppl don't even try. You need someone to take the lead & someone who genuinely wants to get to know you.. because when i REALLY wanna get to know someone, tbh i will write them nomatter how boring they are at first. Im going to try & also make them open up with me lol.

Carver · 31-35, F

@SailorMarz: Well, I have had plenty of those. Heck, a lot of people actually approach me first. Some do seem interested in getting to know me, until they do and lose interest. :( That's another reason why I believe that about me. It's happened so many times, it just can't be everyone else.

SailorMarz · F

@Carver: those ppl suck ass

Carver · 31-35, F

@SailorMarz: No. Those people are actually friendly, well-liked and have lots of friends. They don't suck, I do. At least they try to be nice and keep the convo going most of the time, even I can tell they don't want to.

SailorMarz · F

Stop saying you suck lol @Carver:

Carver · 31-35, F

@SailorMarz: I'll try.

SailorMarz · F

@Carver: & stop calling yourself boring. Just tell inner, mean you to stay the hell out of it tbh. You're gonna be you. & whoever stays, stays, whoever goes, goes & thats that.

SailorMarz · F

@Carver: good