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I Love My Mom

I recently flew to my home town to visit my parents.
And I cried the entire way back.

My mom has been suffering from paranoid schizophrenia ever since I can remember.
I hadn’t visited them in a few months, but I’d always call my dad, just to see how they were doing. He’d explain the situation, but hearing it isn’t the same as witnessing it.

I’ve been incredibly busy with work, and took a few days off last week to visit them.
The mental state that my mother is in, is completely heart breaking, and I can only hope she gets better.

I wish I could visit more often, but my work schedule keeps me occupied.

I’m their only child. Believe me, I feel incredibly selfish, like I’ve failed them as a daughter, because I can’t be there when they need me.

I’ve been trying to convince them to move up to my state, but my dad doesn’t want to, he thinks it could really hurt my mom. And I can’t argue with that.
I just don’t know what to do anymore. This week has been emotionally draining.

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Tatsumi · 31-35, M

My mom is bipolar with psychotic episodes, so I get it. Except I hate her, which makes things a bit easier, but even so it's still painful hearing her scream at the walls on how the government is planning to assassinate her. Because the government really cares about what a no-name housewife thinks or says. Or even worse, watching her delusions change to me or my other family as the antagonists, despite everything we've done for her. And despite her literally attempting to murder my father. More than once.

I actually came home one day when I was 16 to the house covered in foil. Like, how stereotypical could you get? Okay, before I get on a whole thing on this:

You just need a good rest and recharge. ^^; There isn't a lot that a good night's rest can't cure; I've found. If you can't change it, it can only be accepted. You have to live your life, too, is it not true?