I Don't Know What to Do

I feel stuck. I feel like I’m going nowhere. I’m trying to change things about my life but I’m not making much progress. I absolutely despise my job. I cry before I go, cry when I get there, and cry when I leave because I know I have to do it again tomorrow. I have switched jobs 9 times in 5 years and I’m afraid to leave this job because I feel like every job I go to is the same and will work me to death. I’ve been thinking of death a lot lately and the things that would happen If I were to just end myself. I do realize that I won’t just hurt myself I will hurt everyone around me. Mostly my family. My great grandmother passed away last week and I saw how everyone reacted even though they knew she was dying. How would they react if I died unexpectedly? My great uncle told me today that I’m like the granddaughter he’s never had. I really do love family and I would hate to leave them behind confused and hurt wondering why I would do such a thing. I’m stuck.