Every time I mention my dad who abandoned me in a post, there's always old men commenting who sympathize with HIM

That's right, they sympathize with my dad. Not me, the girl he ditched upon learning my mom was pregnant with me. I don't ever look for sympathy on here, but the amount of people here who have sided with my dad just amazes me. What's crazy is that it's always 50+ year old men who do it, every time! They like to tell me things like "Maybe your dad had his reasons" or "Maybe your mom didn't tell you everything". I know for a fact that the latter isn't true and for the former, if there's anything that justifies a man abandoning his family the way my dad did, I would love to hear it. My dad should be about the same age as these men who make up his little support system. Maybe they all belong to a generation who were taught that it's okay to turn your back on your responsibilities as a parent, so long as you have your reasons. Lol! Maybe they all have done just that and now stick up for their fellow derelict dads every opportunity they get.

FairyGirlGemma · F

You're right, they probably did the same thing and deep down in what's left of their souls, they feel guilty.

nonsensiclesnail · F

I think you are correct in their sticking up for their fellow derelict dads.
I'm often amused at the excuses people make to abandon children. To have "accidentally" impregnated a woman and feel it is their right to walk away.

DrWatson · 70-79, M

This old man does sympathize with you.

Yes, your dad "had his reasons", but everyone has their reasons for what they do. That does not make your pain any less.

I was taught to be a gentleman and to take responsibility for my actions. I was not taught it was OK to abandon a family. I don't think you can generalize that that is what my peers were taught when we were young. In fact, the only examples I know of where a man did run when he found out the woman was pregnant are all younger men. ("I'm not ready to be a father right now". So she's ready to be a mother?) But that is just my experience, and I would not generalize from that, either.