I Feel Like Shit Today
Pt2
Hobbies and interests? I dont find joy in doing the things i used to like to do anymore. Hiking. Kayaking. Shooting. Painting. Driving out to the beach just to lay in the sand with a book or to watch the sunset. My family is a mess. My brothers on meth, drinking like a fish and killing himself that way. Hes living off my dad. He wont get a job. Dad doesnt know what to do. Alk he does is work. My moms just an enabler. How else would he have discovered meth. Hmmm. Her. Shes been an addict her whole life. I really hate her yet pity her at the same time. My dad has total blinders on to the entire situation. He knows shits fucked up but is too tired to take it seriously enough. Watching them in that situation just makes me sick. I want to fix it, and help. But you cant help people who wont help themselves. For some reason i feel guilty, like when sonething absolutely horrible does happen involving my brother i will tell myself theres more i could have done. Ive got to stop letting it effect me so much right. There's not much i can do. Im struggling with enough of my own problems.
Hobbies and interests? I dont find joy in doing the things i used to like to do anymore. Hiking. Kayaking. Shooting. Painting. Driving out to the beach just to lay in the sand with a book or to watch the sunset. My family is a mess. My brothers on meth, drinking like a fish and killing himself that way. Hes living off my dad. He wont get a job. Dad doesnt know what to do. Alk he does is work. My moms just an enabler. How else would he have discovered meth. Hmmm. Her. Shes been an addict her whole life. I really hate her yet pity her at the same time. My dad has total blinders on to the entire situation. He knows shits fucked up but is too tired to take it seriously enough. Watching them in that situation just makes me sick. I want to fix it, and help. But you cant help people who wont help themselves. For some reason i feel guilty, like when sonething absolutely horrible does happen involving my brother i will tell myself theres more i could have done. Ive got to stop letting it effect me so much right. There's not much i can do. Im struggling with enough of my own problems.
