I Write As a Form of Therapy
Writing is my way of making sense of my emotional healing process... I usually start a story about something I can't wrap my head around , something that doesn't make sense to me... I write until I get stuck or I get too frustrated or too emotional to continue and I put it aside continue to think on it throughout the day or days and then come back to it and start tweaking it and fine-tuning it adding little details, more imagery, etc...
Because my typing can't seem to keep up with my mind, I have a tendency to go off on tangents. This leaves me with half finished thoughts and fragments of ideas. To make sense of it all, I sometimes break my work up into chunks, and although the individual pieces make sense by themselves, they don't make sense when they're put together. This forces me to end up scrapping the whole thing and starting over... I had the idea to post the individual pieces as stories by themselves, but they usually lose vital context when separated.
I can go back to the same story anywhere between 3-20 times, doing revision after revision, or adding more elements that come to me. Sometimes I go back and read all the unfinished pieces to see if I can gain perspective on my current issue or I go back and read stories I've already posted to find something I need to remember, something I've already learned from something else, but didn't realize was applicable.
One time I almost completely rewrote a story I had already posted, and left both stories so I could remember both processes and see how my thought process evolved over time.
When I feel like I need other peoples perspective on something, I just post a random FML Rant and see what wise words are bestowed upon me...
You can't sort through 5 problems all at once! Sort, digest, rinse, repeat... Work the first layer before starting the next till you are able to sort through the issues completely.
Much like those spin-art machines... Everything is spinning so fast, you can't see what your picture looks like at all! Its just a blur... Then you blindly add a few squirts of one color into the middle and let it spin, that color needs to work its way to the outside and dry before you add another color, and the whole drying process needs to be repeated each time another color is added... Adding the next color before the one before it dries, is going to create a mess of one unpleasant color.
The pieces help me see the big picture... How do you put together a puzzle? First I flip over all the pieces so that I can see what they all look like... Then I separate them into different colors so that I know what area I'm working on and then put the pieces together one group at a time, till you are connecting the groups together and the picture starts to make sense.
Life doesn't come with the whole picture already put together for you on the front of the box... you don't even know what different color groups you are going to have until you get enough of the pieces grouped together.
Maybe the puzzle is not meant to be complete... Is each person's goal in life, to figure out and finish as big a piece of the puzzle as we can before taking what we learned to join the pieces other people have completed. Do we connect the sections we complete to the whole.... Or does everyone have the same puzzle to finish, with the same number of pieces...
I personally believe that we have a cycle to go through and we have to make our own puzzle, learn what we need to on our own the first couple times around, and then we take all of the wisdom we gained back, put it together with the greater whole, to complete an even bigger picture.
But is this bigger picture constantly changing? Have we put the same picture together hundreds of times? Or is there always a new picture to put together, each time we complete one? OR do we still have yet to complete the first picture?
Because my typing can't seem to keep up with my mind, I have a tendency to go off on tangents. This leaves me with half finished thoughts and fragments of ideas. To make sense of it all, I sometimes break my work up into chunks, and although the individual pieces make sense by themselves, they don't make sense when they're put together. This forces me to end up scrapping the whole thing and starting over... I had the idea to post the individual pieces as stories by themselves, but they usually lose vital context when separated.
I can go back to the same story anywhere between 3-20 times, doing revision after revision, or adding more elements that come to me. Sometimes I go back and read all the unfinished pieces to see if I can gain perspective on my current issue or I go back and read stories I've already posted to find something I need to remember, something I've already learned from something else, but didn't realize was applicable.
One time I almost completely rewrote a story I had already posted, and left both stories so I could remember both processes and see how my thought process evolved over time.
When I feel like I need other peoples perspective on something, I just post a random FML Rant and see what wise words are bestowed upon me...
You can't sort through 5 problems all at once! Sort, digest, rinse, repeat... Work the first layer before starting the next till you are able to sort through the issues completely.
Much like those spin-art machines... Everything is spinning so fast, you can't see what your picture looks like at all! Its just a blur... Then you blindly add a few squirts of one color into the middle and let it spin, that color needs to work its way to the outside and dry before you add another color, and the whole drying process needs to be repeated each time another color is added... Adding the next color before the one before it dries, is going to create a mess of one unpleasant color.
The pieces help me see the big picture... How do you put together a puzzle? First I flip over all the pieces so that I can see what they all look like... Then I separate them into different colors so that I know what area I'm working on and then put the pieces together one group at a time, till you are connecting the groups together and the picture starts to make sense.
Life doesn't come with the whole picture already put together for you on the front of the box... you don't even know what different color groups you are going to have until you get enough of the pieces grouped together.
Maybe the puzzle is not meant to be complete... Is each person's goal in life, to figure out and finish as big a piece of the puzzle as we can before taking what we learned to join the pieces other people have completed. Do we connect the sections we complete to the whole.... Or does everyone have the same puzzle to finish, with the same number of pieces...
I personally believe that we have a cycle to go through and we have to make our own puzzle, learn what we need to on our own the first couple times around, and then we take all of the wisdom we gained back, put it together with the greater whole, to complete an even bigger picture.
But is this bigger picture constantly changing? Have we put the same picture together hundreds of times? Or is there always a new picture to put together, each time we complete one? OR do we still have yet to complete the first picture?
41-45, F
