I'm Sorry

Whenever I talk to people I feel so unstable. Instead of listening I am thinking of what they maybe be thinking of me. Why are they even talking to me. Because of how I view myself I feel like I have a hard time talking to people.

I would really like to say how I feel and share actual feelings with people because that is how friendships grow. Why one falls we help each other back up and through that relationships grow. But im too scared of how people might react to my feelings that I don't offer them in the first place. What If they think i'm lying.

They may think that my personality is too dark. I get sad too easily. Im too depressing to talk too.Then maybe they weren't meant to be a friend in the first place if they don't take your feelings seriously. I like to think I know why self well but lately I've been feeling unstable. And I wish I could just get a hold of myself. Sometimes I feel like im drowning and I can't swim back up. I just don't know what to think and I can't get my limbs to do what I tell them.

I really do feel sorry towards the people I know because they have to deal with such a standoffish personality. Then again I feel bad for saying such a thing about myself. I shouldn't be sorry for my personality but sometimes I am and that pulls me so far down.