I Am Unemployed

I’m unemployed by no fault of my own.

For 3.5 years I worked in retail, at the same business, and this year I decided that I had enough. I wasn’t getting enough hours/money, the business was losing money themselves, and often times the environment there was either very negative or mentally draining; I felt I reached the highest level that I could within the role I was in, and my intelligence was dwindling every time I was there. I’ve always put more effort than I needed to into certain things, and this job was no different. I worked myself mentally and physically sore for years, with no real acknowledgment or result. I tried going into work every shift with it just being a means to an end in mind, but when you take so much pride in what you do and you reach a point where you’re kind of stagnant, then it really takes a toll on your health. I felt I had more to offer and I wanted to spread my wings and learn something new in a different role and place.

Unfortunately, everywhere I applied for rejected me because I didn’t have a piece of paper to say I’m qualified for this and that. These days it’s got nothing to do with your skills, talent, or work ethic; it’s all about that one piece of paper. So all I was left with was a cleaning job, plus my retail job that I hadn’t quit but simply taken time away from. I worked in this cleaning job for almost 3 months, until last Monday when I was unfairly “fired”.

Now everyone who has been fired can probably say that didn’t deserve it, however this is a true case of I really didn’t deserve it. There were so many unkind people within the workplace and terrible management. A close relative of mine was also a supervisor there, and they have been witnessing this negativity and pettiness for years long before I arrived. I tried my best to go to work, do the job well, and go home. However, when someone is out to get you, they’ll do anything they can to get you out. Often times you have the opportunity to defend yourself, but not in my case. Management didn’t give me the chance; I found out I was “fired” from someone else, rather than management themselves, all because someone had come forward with a blatant lie. It was unfair and unjust, but I can literally do nothing about it.

They can simply click their fingers and suddenly someone’s life has changed. My relative tried to defend me, as I was not there to do so and completely unaware of the situation, however management didn’t want to acknowledge this. In return, my relative decided to put in their leave, as the treatment within the workplace was completely unacceptable. So now, here I am; unemployed and having to deal with the unfairness of a firing, plus the guilt I feel for my relative choosing to leave because of everything that’s happened.

I technically still have my retail job, but not for another two months as I had requested time off to focus on my cleaning job. Unfortunately, I can’t simply cancel that time off, so for the moment I am unemployed and have no income. I had a week to feel like shit, to wallow and be miserable, and then I was back to looking for employment again. However the only jobs available are the ones that require that pesky piece of paper to say I’m qualified for something.

So what do I do? I feel worthless and pathetic. I’m almost twenty five years old and I still don’t have a job that keeps me afloat; I’m always just scraping by. My partner, who has recently moved here to Australia from England, has a full time job for the next three months. He’s literally raking in thousands of dollars, and although part of me is happy that he is earning money and enjoying his job, I’m at home completely confused and discouraged that somehow I started this year off with two jobs and two months in I’m left with none.

I have savings, thankfully, but I really don’t want to have to touch it. It’s there for my future, because some day I hope to actually have the chance to build a more positive future. I do not want to have to dip into it because of such cruel and arrogant people that seem to enjoy bringing others down.

In my mind, I know their actions speak more about the type of people they are, and not about the person I am. But it’s their actions, their intentionally cruel decisions, which have affected me so greatly. They get to go to work every day, and get paid at the end of the week, for doing what? Absolutely nothing other than destroying people’s livelihood.

I know I am a good worker, but that doesn’t seem to count for much, so what am I to do.