I Have Anger Issues

Is an understatement. It is the source of my depression and the reason I am being held back from accomplishing things I really want to do. Growing up, I witnessed violence between my parents, was subject to verbal abuse, as was my sister. My mom, bless her heart, was the one on the recieving end of my father's outburts. All of my childhood memories are filled with anxiety and feeling helpless, helpless because I was to small and weak to do anything to stop what was going on. My parents finally divorced after my mom was hurt badly with a broken leg, she left him and took my sister and I to live with my grandparents, who then helped raise us. As I grew older I suppressed the feelings of despair and managed to go on. Everything was fine until I got into my teens. Out of the blue I was constantly fighting off violent thoughts. The intrusive nature of them became overwhelming and I began giving into them without realizing that it would cause my first downward spiral into pychosis. And a couple of years later my second psychotic break, complete depersonalization and derealization plagued me for weeks at a time. It was the worst experience I've ever had on par with seeing my mom beaten. The experience finally convinced me to start and stay on steady medication which has relieved the symptoms of the break to the point where I can function most days now. The only thing left is the anger. I don't know how to let it go. I've done everything within my power to rid myself of it, but I still feel broken. As if deep down, somewhere within me is this being that has my soul in in a deathgrip and won't let go. I pray that it would leave but it always resurfaces. I share this here but it will not matter. My father i've forgiven, but i'm still left to live with this demon. If i'm never healed of this I guess it is ok. I will carry it until it leaves or kills me.