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I Hate Insensitive People

One of my childhood friends passed away last year in February. It's been a year. It still hurts and I'm not okay sometimes. Someone told me, "I don't give a damn! What do you expect me to do, feel sorry for you? People die everyday okay? You need to accept that death is life and you're going to lose people you love. That's the truth. You can't be sad ALL THE TIME. Stop crying! You look better if you just smile. I HAD to abandon you because I couldn't take you being all depressed and you swallowing in your pity."
Rude! Yes you can't be sad all the time but that was very rude. They didn't even feel bad. Why are people so harsh/brutally honest about death?
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Peppa · 31-35, F
Bad person. Cut them off. Move on.
I started a friendship with a girl at my uni but she was dating this guy. She seemed more interested In dating him so she skipped class a lot.
When he passed away, and she started to get clingy. I felt bad for her at the beginning but then I started to feel used.
I later told her about my father's ill health and age said to me that it wasn't the same type of suffering.
Because he was still alive.
Even though his severe disability meant he was unable to anything for himself including his speech he relied on us. People promised a lot and delivered very little.

I invited her out a few times in the summer because she said she was stuck indoors doing nothing but cry so I thought a couple of hours doing an activity might help.
But she wanted it to be a counselling session, never once asking about my dad or how I was doing. She would get really emotional.

So in the end I decided I had enough I told her she would be better off having counselling as this was not something I could deal with that I felt really used that what could have been a shared experience was actually one sided.

My father has passed away and I haven't really told very many people, some here have been kind to offer condolences and words of comfort, others ignore it.

When you grieve it's very personal and incredibly selfish thing. Not bad or wrong.
Just not always how someone else deals with things. It's also hard for a person who doesn't know or feel for someone they didn't know, and if they never grieved before they will find it weird that you're stuck.